v19: An occasional sympathetic ear

Long fucking day.

Not that it was particularly eventful. Indeed it was spent primarily glaring at a computer screen and trying to sort out the disarray that is my life and schoolwork. But it was just long.

I awoke and did the usual morning routine, foregoing breakfast just so I could arrive at school, "almost on time." The next several hours were spent sorting through whatever stories we had to plug into the pages we had to lay out - which did not always necessarily fit into the traditional modular design of your everyday tabloid-sized paper. Oh, and there was one that was completely illegible. It caused such a mess, unreadable and certainly not something we could be bothered to print.

And then there was the mind-numbing repetitiveness of trying to work on my website for Electronic Publishing. I am exhausted with that, because Dave and I don't particularly communicate well. Every time he speaks I feel the need to interrupt him and interpret whatever he is saying back to him, but intelligibly - and failing. I have no idea what he thinks we are doing on this assignment. All I could do was take my stories and put them into the template. It's going to be a mess to try to present. I don't even understand why this involves a presentation. There are too goddamn many presentations.

I'm getting high blood pressure just thinking about it. In fact, I wrote a story for Roy about the Heart & Stroke Foundation today, because I just had to put it off for weeks even though I did the interview that very week and could indeed have forgotten about it before the massive hellstorm of work I've been enduring.

If I seem lost, adrift through life over the next few days, it's because I've given up. I've been harrassed from so many angles that I just can't muster up the strength to deal anymore. I'm shutting down, I think, for the next few days. running on autopilot. Hitting cruise control. Going into screen saver. Other sorts of metaphors of that nature. I'm exhausted, and I have every right to be.

And of course my allergies have kicked back in. I hate this. Fuckin' Dr. Leith shooed me off my shots last year and now I'm some poor sap with a runny nose and a sore mouth. what the hell is that, anyway,t hat feeling when the roof of your mouth is scratchy? I hate that. Goddamnit I've wanted an occasion to say that for years, and now it's out there. I hate that sensation, whatever the hell it is, associated with allergies, when your mouth is all scratchy. For some reason I long ago got into the habit of trying to scratch it with my tongue, which is insane, and only exacerbates the issue. Fuck.

I just want these goddamn final assignments to be over with. It's like waiting for surgery. You know things will be fine afterward, but it's hard enough just sitting in anticipation.

Whatever dude.

I'm sorry I ran out on our conversation earlier. I felt like a tool when what I left for lasted only a few minutes, and you'd gone when I returned.

Feh.

The post has deteriorated. I think I actually made myself more bitter throughout the course of its writing. A pity. I still feel I haven't cleaned my slate off for the night, but I'll rest my hands now.

Keep on rockin'
-Scotto