Fourteen: Rest my achin' bones

It's actually hard to believe how long goes between posts these days. I never thought I'd be the guy who keeps going "Gosh I haven't updated this thing in a while." And while we're not at the weeks on end phase yet, time was I'd be on here six days out of a week. Now, it seems like scrawling down my every life detail isn't very high on my to-do list. Go figure. Never thought I'd see the day.

I just feel like I've been off a step for weeks. Maybe it's the whacked-out sleep-and-schoolwork schedule and commute. Even though I've been on vacation for weeks, the holidays have ground me down a fair bit and I'm just... well, donefor.

I was sick late this week, I woke up on Thursday feeling like my Adam's Apple had become one of those spiky balls from Medieval times. I fought it off with Cold-Assist (the generic equivalent of Cold-FX, which I swear by) and herbal tea. I've actually remained surprisingly healthy this winter. I'm quite proud of myself for that.

Dad wanted to do a whole thing for New Year's Day; he's having a turkey and stuff, because nobody was around for Christmas (although we had Christmas Eve dinner with him, and visited on Christmas Day. Deb's kids were scattered.) As it turns out, as usual, my mom is having all the aunts and the kids and such over for dinner. Eric suspects dad feels we take mom's stuff over his, which isn't true per se, but we live with her and stuff. I don't know. I feel bad if that's the case, because it's not like we had a say. What are we, gonna ditch our aunts after they've already been asked over? Hm.

It's December 30th, and I've got nothing planned for tomorrow night. This exceeds last year in terms of last-minute planning. It's not impossible something's going to work out, but I'm getting very nervous. I fuckin' hate it, in fact, and I feel like too much of a nebbish to go "Yo what's happening tomorrow?" even though I've asked others repeatedly. Who knows. I sure as fuck don't.

I've been having very vivid dreams about people I haven't seen in years.

I'm incredibly frustrated with myself right now. I kinda feel like a ticking timebomb of caffeine and frustration. And if I don't let it out tomorrow night the entire last few weeks will have been in vain.

Life ain't so peachy right about now.

But I'm trying.

Keep on rockin'
-Scott