4.3: Treat me like you did the night before

The first time I was ever here it was November 2004, right after the last Earnest show. I've been here innumerable times ever since, especially over the past year, whether for a party or a small hangout, or even just to pick something up. But I've never sat here, at the Ferguson house, all by my lonesome.

I'm dogsitting. I hadn't heard any follow-up on Cary's request between the time he asked and last night, when I was bored and afraid I'd fallen into a parallel dimension when Eric accidentally cut the extension cord with the hedge-trimmer. I texted Cary around midnight asking whether he still wanted me to dogsit. He replied yes, and that details would follow when he was less drunk. Fair enough.

This morning I met with Amanda. I have to admit for a lot of the morning I was a huge downer. I don't know what came over me but thinking about things caused me to kind of go back into my bummer mode. I dunno, just attempting to converse about my life in reasonable terms led me to just flip out, which is not at all out of character. I found it hard to believe a while back when a friend told me she couldn't imagine me losing my cool.

Anyway, as we got to talking we were browsing Cole's as usual, musing about literature and publish and eventually she jokingly said we should write a book together in the Pre-teen Fantasy genre. She didn't seem too thrilled with my first pitch, "Franken-Ninjas," so I then pitched a cross between the escapist magic of Harry Potter and the outrageous lasciviousness of Gossip Girl. And then something weird started happening. We actually started brainstorming a series of fantasy novels, and the idea took shape from there. We started laying out characters and objectives and antagonists... suddenly it's not a joke and it actually seems like something we can do. And it's this amazing feeling I haven't gotten in a long while: the feeling of being a writer. The feeling of building a project from the ground up and having confidence in it. The only original idea I'd had in seemingly years prior was for a film I haven't written (although I did write down a decent plot summary.) I've still got so many projects from along the years that I've been burning off, so the thought of doing something new has seemed impractical. But I like this, I like the feeling it gives.

We left off on that, suddenly lifting me spirits. I biked the long way home, by which I mean I went the opposite direction and took a little tour up Trafalgar and then down Cross. As I was heading for the path under the QEW, my phone started to ring. It was Cary with the details on the dogsitting. It was pretty straightforward... come over, hang out, feed the dog, let her out, keep her company, et cetera. While we talked, Robyn of all people rolled by on her blades. She had to get to work.

So now here I am, taking care of business. I was figuring maybe I'd get CB over and hang with him, but he is, as he occasionally goes, unavailable. Others I also tried were similarly preoccupied. So I've just been talking to the dog, playing video games, and reading old entries (which is a sure sign an evening is going nowhere.) It's been kind of weird and quiet and relaxed. Being really self-reflective without being too down about it. There are better ways to spend a Saturday, but it's something ain't it?

After all, everything these days seems to be dogs. If it ain't dogsitting for Cary, it's being responsible for Max, or having Grandma leave Xena at our place this weekend. So in essence by taking care of Kylie over here, I'm avoiding other canine problems... for now. I just know that I'm gonna have to deal with it tomorrow anyway. It's just my lot.

Amanda, when we were talking earlier, was insistent that I need to get out of this town. Lamentably, I know this, and yet I am powerless to do so myself. The thing is, I wasn't that bad over the school year, it' just these days. If reading the old entries has shown me something, it's that I should try to surround myself with people who know me. It's a shame that I couldn't raise anybody on the phone but that's the way it goes.

I leave well enough alone for tonight on that note. Life, like anything else, is just what you make it. I hope you have a good night, sexy.

Yeah, I mean, I can imagine there are sexy readers out there. Maybe.

Keep on rockin'
-Scotto