7:00 AM: When it's over you know we'll both be so alone...

Hrm.

There's something funny that happens when I go this long without an entry. Oddly enough, that something is nothing. While nothing usually happens around here, I usually have my bearings to describe what nothing happened most recently. With such a plethora of nothing before me, how do I describe it? Moreover, what am I describing? What's a boy to do?

Nothing, I suppose. Hah.

It was surprisingly nice weather over the weekend. Not that I did anything with it, but for once it started to feel summery. I had a dentist appointment on Thursday. I'd been sweating it for weeks because in the past the dental staff have frowned upon my obvious dependency on Coca-Cola. That said, I've had a half a cavity over many years and I try to do my best to take care of my teeth. One can never truly tell, however. So when I know I have a dental appointment I try to do everything right and then some. Fuck, I even floss. And it pays off too, because after a harrowing 20 minutes or so with the hygienist, the doc walks in and the hygienist says she doesn't need him to look at me, everything's swell. Awesome.

I live to drink another Coke.

It was Thursday night that I wanted to do something, but scheduling got all twisted around and by the time I tried it was too late. The weekend was a blur without any Risk or authentic human interaction for yours truly. Not that I was moping around much, just that I didn't accumulate any interesting stories. Hrm. I did go to coffee with Amanda (per usual) and we got some pen-to-paper work done on our story idea. It's starting to take shape although the hazards of collaboration (my tendency not to work well with others) looms constantly.

In the "Things that are not surprising" department, it rained today. Since I was out on my bike - yet again - when it hit, I kinda flipped a bit when I got home, in an "Oh, God, why, why again?" kind of way. It's getting exhausting, this weather, and I'm very tired of it. Week after week it's rain and more rain, you know? I can't stand it, I can't let it dictate my life as much as it seems to be doing.

In the "Things that are actually quite surprising" department, Eric is working these days. I feel like I mentioned it earlier since it's been in the works for a little while, but he had his first day today. I'm enjoying the type of freedom that will be available on my off-days once he moves out. It's quiet, I have the TV to myself, I try not to feel too alone so I talk to myself (actually B is mostly in the next room except when he's not.) It's interesting. I sometimes feel tense when he's around, like I can't focus. Having quiet - as when he's at work or goes to bed at a reasonable time - changes the room very much. When he got home, he reminded me of my moods after I'd get home from painting, or the bowling alley, or wherever - tired and sore and wanting shit to be done for me. I conceded him that, in a "do unto others" mood. I made dinner.

So I finally did register for my courses, thank goodness. I'm not totally satisfied with it and will probably change a few things up, but at least I have classes to go to once the semester begins. I'm not flappin' in the breeze, although I do wonder about my chosen subject post. English major is a natural. The double major in English and Cinema seemed like a good combo but now I'm mulling over my options for changing cinema to a minor and pairing it with something else. Dad has always been really keen on my studying political science. I'm not into it, but I could go that way if I so desired. The time to decide would be soon.

A friend recently advised me, based on her own life, that it's important to know when to "give up" on someone. I told her it was a lesson I could stand to learn. I do tend to hold onto things, even as they slip out of my grasp. I wonder whether I have any ability whatsoever to sense these things and if I can take the proper action. Learn to give up. Strange how I'm not much of a fighter and yet too stubborn to quit things.

Well regardless of that, I've got myself some big plans for the near future. No more summer of wasted potential for ole Scotto, no-no, no more excuses and delays. This last stretch, I daresay, is for me.

So keep on rockin'
-Scotto