11:52 PM: The Bunker Days

Wait for dawn and dawn shall come...

It's been a heckuva few days. I'm not nearly so disoriented as I play, although I have been enjoying the adriftness of the Chrimbo season. We haven't done much but then again we haven't had much to do. I think the nothing is good but it doesn't always agree with my wife.

We've made some progress on the search for a surrogate. We wrote our profile and it was uploaded and we've seen some candidates. Nobody yet that fits the bill for us but it's only day 1. Mostly we've been in bathrobes and sweats watching The Americans and eating breakfast.

This is the life, in a way. Relaxation, wanting nothing, spending barely anything. I know it's made possible by toil and suffering the rest of the year but that doesn't make it not enjoyable. I think Mel's body feels like there should be more to do, more going on, so she's had some anxiety and some other physical symptoms. It's hard to know what to make of that. Sometimes I feel bad that I fall short in knowing how to help her, and other times I think so many people would be worse at it.

Yesterday Two days ago there was an appointment, and we were going to hit the mall and do some stuff: a haircut for me, maybe nails for Mel and some lunch, but the vibe was off so we went home and chilled. Today I picked up some groceries, did laundry and had a workout, then we went to mom's to see the aunts and cousins. It was nice, lively. At one point I felt a little blah when we discussed pets and their health (why does that always come up?) but I felt good when Lori engaged Mel about her work and about the surrogate process. It's nice to feel understood and supported. The kids are seeming more grown up but still like kids. We got Ali and Cam each a $25 gift card, they got us a $25 gift card -- that's where we're at.

It's been a lot of reading, which has also been nice. A lot of phone stuff, maybe too much phone stuff -- it's hazardous, one never knows when Mel is going to see something that she would be better off not seeing on Instagram but she likes it too much in general to put it away completely, I think.

It's been raining a lot. Lightly but constantly. Just sitting by the window in the morning watching the puddle slowly gather.

I watched a few of the new Doctor Whos. I've done a good amount of writing. I feel good about how I've used my time, no complaints. This has been a good week as far as I'm concerned and fixes to keep being good.

Tomorrow it's the spa and hotel, and then after that it's new year's nachos.

I thought this post might be more of a downer -- my brain's been a little fixated on some bad stuff lately, but honestly, things are right where I need them, near me.

Which is a refreshing change of pace for this blog.

Keep on rockin'

-Scotto