VIII: Yesterday's Fresh Tea (Everyday blurs)

Nothing's much different today, except I have a bit of time to talk to you while Mel is on a call. Well, I have time every day but I'm judicious in how I use it. Today I did 2000 words or so on my work in progress -- thank you, thank you, no applause necessary. I haven't done my much-touted professional development in a while. If I were dedicated I could do a lot of it in a week, but I have other things on my mind.

Mel is still sick, afflicted with a nasty cough. After spending the weekend in the bedroom, and then working from bed on Monday, she took Tuesday off to rest and then go to the doctor. Doc gave her some nasal spray and a recommendation for a different cough syrup. I wouldn't say it hasn't helped, but last night she was still up all hours with coughing fits. Wellness is a journey.

I was thinking about old times again today. I mean, when aren't I, right? My whole life is old times. I feel like I haven't made any new times in a while, but the truth is, Mel and I have had some good ones lately. I think we really try to be active and present.

I was thinking about high school. And middle school. Who-liked-who-when, that sort of thing. What-could-we-have-done. It's academic. It doesn't matter. It's moot. I like my wife now and she likes me. I was just thinking about how I had this nasty habit of never liking the girls who liked me, even when I should have. I don't regret anything, but I could have gone down some fun wrong directions over the years if I'd given in to one or two of them. Too safe, that kid. Afraid. Hey, he still is.

I want to be something so badly, but my Goodness, I don't want to undergo the process of becoming.

The Christmas Tree's still up. Part of that is down to spending so much of the last few weeks tending to Mel upstairs that we don't make any moves downstairs. Laundry has suffered but that's not new. We're coming up on Valentine's Day and I've made some tentative movements toward changeover of decor but nothing solid.

I don't know if I have any problem with the way I'm living my life but I do, every so often, feel pangs of guilt I am not doing more to better my station and what I left behind. (Then I remember I left behind mental illness along with status and consistency.) Life hasn't really changed, Mel just can't buy as many crystals. I do need to do big things in 2026. Maybe starting next month.

I've never been the fastest runner. Or the one with the most endurance. In fact I haven't finished many races at all. I'd rather not race. But we're all racing.

Anyway. This was a nothingburger of a post and that's okay. Just a little ping to the universe. I spent the last twenty minutes reading old Tumblr stuff from April 2011, aka when Tumblr was more active than this site, (aka my prime??) There was some good stuff and some stuff that I should probably regard as cringeworthy but don't, because I posted it knowing that it might be.

Bwoof.

Well, I've nothinged this evening away decently. Let's call it, break, and regroup tomorrow (which is Friday??! What is time anymore?)

I miss you all.

Keep on rockin'

-Scotto