7-2: Everybody's looking for somebody's arm to fall into

It isn't places we pine for, only memoires.

I've been occupying myself with a lot of writing... some articles, some cretive, et cetera et cetera. I remember back during NaNoWriMo when I was doing thousands or so words per night - in addition to MSN and other schoolwork. My arms felt like shite. I'm going to be doing quite a bit of stuff for Interneta in the next few days. By the weekend or so. Nothing too consequential, some reviews and rants, but it keeps me busy (nothing on that site is all that monumental anyway.)

The main impetus for this is that there's really nowhere to go. I can't get out of here, not physically, so I stay in and escape through the computer (not that that's unusual.) The weather was brutal-rapingly hot today as yesterday. I did go out for a BLT but when I brought it back home I dropped the top half of one half (so, quarter?) which is very sad; I always say it's a particularly unfortunate moment when an intended meal is ruined.

So I've been facing cabit fever but I think the heat's gonnabreak tomorrow. It was supposed to thunderstorm, but that passed by-- thus proving what a crock meteorology is anyhow.

I guess I ought to turn my eyes back to the horizon soon and get back on the trail of my future. I don't know. You know that feeling high school kids get on August 1st when they realized a whole month is gone and they only have half a summer left? Well I've got two months of that ahead. I'm trying not to focus on the pessmistic aspect of it though. After all, a lot can be done in two months. I recall I once made a movie in that length of time.

To move out or not to move out? A question indeed. We're weirdly insular at this house. My leaving will surely disrupt that, but that's not a bad thing. Every routine must end. Everyone must adapt sometime, even me. And I can face that because I'm trying to be at least a little conventional, a little normal. A while back my dad was lamenting that maybe his lack of presence somehow affected the way we came out. And maybe that's true - maybe we'd be a little more normal had he and mom never split up, but if we would, that's the consequence and he's just got to live with that. Lord knows I do. But I'm trying, and this university business is part of that; growing up, becoming a whole person, that deal.

It's not that I want to be mature and responsible; it's just that I want to see a new perspective, and it looks like I'm going for "the usual," which wuold be nice.

Tonight's entry was lengthier than I thought it might be. It wasn't all that down, either. It really wasn't much of anything, but it's something anyway.

All we've gotta do is find a place to fit in this puzzle of a world.

Keep on rockin'
-Scott