2.3: Machines to design other machines

There's a feeling men know. There's no real way to impart it onto a woman; it's the feeling of being kicked in the groin. I've known women to complain that being boob-punched hurts, but I've not heard of people going to the hospital for it, and I don't think it's a pain I can't imagine. Then there's childbirth; admittedly, on the surface this trumps a kick to the crotch, but consider the beauty of the act of giving life, that the female body was built to accommodate it and that in order to get to that point you had to have sexual intercourse. And who doesn't like adult, consensual, loving, passionate, hardcore dirty rough sex?

But testicles. They're a couple of grapes - or if it's cold, raisings - flimsily attached by tendons the consistency of dental floss to every part of the body, and not meant to absorb shock. So when they get somehow stricken, you feel it everywhere, from your toes to your stomach, from your lungs to your duodenum. God forbid they should get tangled, as happened to my brother one miserable night in the mid-90's

Anyway, the deep, wind-sucking feeling that reminded me of that thought was not an actual kick in the groin but an emotional one. After getting home from an uneventful day at school I felt like unwinding on some video gaems. I have a few simple objectives to complete but technical difficulties prevented me from accomplishing this. Frustrated, I persevered and ultimatel completed the task, but was so disheartened I turned the game off and replaced in with Guitar Hero 3. I have three songs left before I've 5-starred every song on Medium and can finally venture into Hard with confidence. But every time I think I've finally nabbed Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast (or the other two, Slayer's Raining Blood and Metallica's One) I just fall short. My repeated inability to climb over that hill threw me into a deep despair of frustration and I suddenly felt physically unwell. It was around this time a thought or two came to me.

One is that, no matter how I was feeling, life's too short to lose your head over stupid bullshit like that. It's not substantial. And I can justify getting pissed off at a lot of trivial shit, but video games? They're meant for entertainment, an escape, and a challenge. That was the whole point. There's hardly any satisfaction in something easy. And I'm not saying I'm going to be all zenlike everytime I play a video game from now on, because the aggressive side that reveals itself is part of the fun, but to let it take its toll on my physical wellbeing? That's nuts. It's good to get fired up every now and again, but you can't be a martyr for this shit.

As I said, it was an uneventful day that led to this. I have a lot of woes on my mind and video games ought to be the relief, not the source. It reminds me of when I used to get really emotional when I didn't do well at bowling. I was there for fun, why the fuck did I take it so seriously?

New concept: friend crush. It's when you have a non-sexual attachment to a friend that makes you want to be around them maybe more than is reasonable, and maybe to the point of idealizing them or bending your schedule around them. I've had one or two, and in at least one case it ended up being a major fall-out. We patched it up eventually but the friend crush was obviously gone. I'm not saying they're unhealthy, but they can cause you to miss vital flaws in your friend's character, depending on the degree.

Eric bought New Super Mario Bros. for his recently-purchased Nintendo DS. As a result, I will be using it much more than previously anticipated. He had to see that one coming. Video games are en vogue these days at the Williams place.

Anyway, that's life as I saw it today. I've got a poem to write for wednesday, and mucho reading and the usual stuff besides. Also potentially a dentist appointment on this thursday or next.

Much ado about nothing these days. Keep on rockin'
-Your ole Scotto