Chapter 8: I need to get back in your arms

So I've recently re-discovered my appreciation for Aerosmith's live catalogue.

I mean, don't get me wrong; I haven't gone very long without listening to Aerosmith since I was in Grade 7. It's a lifetime official favourite band thing. When I was younger, I tended to listen to the live recordings, (Live Bootleg and Classics Live 1 & 2) because they mixed in the hits and more obscure songs that rocked and the packages generally sounded more interesting than the studio affairs. The pinnacle of their live collections (which has long since expanded to include A Little South of Sanity and Rockin' the Joint, the former I have the latter I don't really need) was Classics Live 2, which had great performances throughout, impeccable song choices and a decent but not exhausting running length. I used to listen to it while I made toasted lunchmeat sandwiches.

Anyway, by the time I got an iPod and it was time to pick and choose which records I wanted to hear endlessly, I opted for the studio recordings, because it's just more efficient that way, and that was that. But I popped in CL2 earlier tonight and it rocks just as hard as I remember.

Anyway, there's a song on there, "Movin' Out," that features some really poignant lines, which along with the philosophical musings in "Dream On," hinted that as a lyricist Steven Tyler was (slightly) interested in things other than sex and drugs. I think it deserves to be embroidered on a wall-hanging somewhere: "Level with God and you're in tune with the universe / Talk with yourself and you'll hear what you want to know. / Gotta rise above 'cause below is only gettin' worse / Life in time will take you where you wanna go." It's rather uplifting if slightly vague.

As predicted, it was a long day. To some degree it was fulfilling and surprising, and to another it was, y'know, a bit of a letdown. I was figuring on going two places this evening. I ended up neither. Go figure.

I got up early to head for the bus. I got myself a bit ahead of schedule in an effort to get down to Bronte for an important meeting concerning my new gig as a painter/botherer of people. It was a long, long ride down Rebecca, ending with me getting off at the Bronte mall. I was early, as I implied, so I just kinda kicked around before finding the place. Walking through that mall was like going through Trafalgar Village circa 1998, but smaller and with a hint of burning rubber in the air. My mind reeled meanwhile with nervousness.

After about a half hour of pointless stalling, I went to the place. The boss' cousin welcomed me in and ushered me to the basement where others were already waiting. She'd be along in a minute, make yourself at home. So I got there and found three girls sitting around, of varying levels of looks, (Oh come on, you know how shallow I am.) Each from a different school (Queens, Sheridan, and even a youngun from OT.) We chitchatted a while and joked around cordially to break the tension. I won't lie, it was a bit awkward and I said out loud with a smile "I just wanna get this over with," which was dead-honest... I have no heart for clerical matters, and I was spending an undefined chunk of my Saturday in a completely foreign part of town. Let's just get it over with. One girl laughed, "Don't sound so enthusiastic!" So I smiled even wider and pumped my fist in the air "I just wanna get this over with!!"

Eventually, the bosslady showed up with some dude in tow. He seemed to have a better idea what was up than we did. We got some papers passed around, outlines of expectations - what we could expect and what was expected of us - and we talked about the part I had been tugging my collar about all week, cold-calling and marketing. I mean look. I signed on to be a painter - at least, I applied for that. If I could've spent my entire damn summer just on a ladder applying acrylics to window shutters, I'd feel awesome. But the fact is, there has to be people with shutters to paint, and so a certain amount of my time will be spent leaving flyers around and ringing doorbells. C'est la vie. Maybe I'll be awesome at it, or maybe I'll totally half-ass it. I haven't decided. I guess we'll see when I start doing it. (The truth is, I intend to start with at least some enthusiasm, at we'll see how it progresses as the months go on.)

In summary, as jobs go, it seems do-able and likely to keep me out of trouble for the summer. Looking at things, I can see how Eric didn't manage to get the job. She hired 6 people - me, the other guy, the three girls and one girl who didn't show up today. He came late in the interview process, so unless he came off as utterly essential he wasn't going to fit into the hiring scheme.

So the whole meeting ended up lasting about an hour with some cold-calling roleplaying being the chief high point, and ending with being informed that I was to start on Wednesday, or possibly Tuesday. It'd be better if the uncertainty was the other way around - probably Tuesday but maybe Wednesday - so I could count on Tuesday, but that's how things go, n'est-ce pas?

I got on the bus, after something of a wait, around 1:20. Not long after I did, a woman and some kids around 4-5 got on. I didn't pay 'em much mind (it's late spring after all, there are random chicks with exposed shoulders) to begin with, being plugged into my earbuds, but suddenly I heard something I could not drown out with Aerosmith. A weirdly familiar tune, but strangely out of context as a kids' singalong...

The kids were singing and clapping together to the Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way."

I weep for our young generation. I do.

After a protracted bus ride, I got to the station and took the long way home... walking. I considered stopping in at certain locations to see people I knew at work, but I figured I'd do that some other time and not feel lame about it. But the reason for the walking ws far from my health or enjoying the weather... I was listening to a podcast and didn't want to get home before the end (ultimately unsuccessful in that area.) I got home around 3. Xena was dropped off and promptly we went out to get mom a Mother's Day gift. It's the type of thing you don't figure she would ask for or necessarily enjoy, but it was thoughtful to some degree, and... it's mother's day. As long as it's flowery and shows appreciation, can anyone really complain? I like to show my mother my appreciation, but I'm not the type to knock himself out.

We had the kebabs for dinner. They were okay, ameliorated by some fancy rice we had with 'em that I don't remember buying and may, in fact, have gotten as a free sample at Union.

Tonight was going to be hanging out and/or Risk. The house being mostly empty weekends, it'd be nice to take advantage of that sometime but my social life stalled for tonight. I had to reschedule one very changeable thing, and Risk got called right off because of general fatigue. I don't blame 'em but to be honest, I was eager to provide myself with some retribution for my recent... disgraces. But there will always be another Risk game. I at least managed to clear the air with Chris, admit I overreacted a tad. Well anyway we agreed on one view of it, and that's that Chris found himself a strategy to win and it played out beautifully. I was the unfortunate sucker to get blasted immediately, and the others, not nearly as strong as Chris from fighting me, had no choice but to lie down and take it. Strange how I got the reputation as one who doesn't think ahead enough? Heh. (I'll admit, it's not entirely unwarranted and it's always easier to see other peoples' mistakes.)

But anyway, the lack of Risk and everything is what led to me wandering around town for coffee, listening to Classics Live 2 and generally being sketchyawesome, and then watching Saturday Night Live while Xena is passed out on the couch. It's the kind of evening where I find myself carefully examining what kind of girl would actually be on POF* (a popular free low-grade dating site) at 2 AM and simulatenously mwondering why I am doing the same thing. And take my sweet time writing an entry.

Maybe I should've spent this time doing actual writing. Just think: if I weren't so fascinated with my own tedious life, I might've accomplished something. Ah well, later for that.

I don't have much time these days, to sit and simmer in my own misery, which I guess is good... everyone could use a break now and again from my bitching and complaining. I could use a little levity, a little breathing, a little bit of things going right. Strangely, that seems exactly to be what's going on right now.

Other than that, it'd be nice to seize onto a creative impulse, but we can't have it all. It's nearly 3:00 in the morning, despite what the entry time says, so I don't think I'll be starting any new projects tonight.

Darlin', if you're out there, be safe and warm and come find me when you can... and keep on rockin'
-Scott