11.1: A tweak in the right direction

I still link every entry back to Interneta. I'm not sure why, since I haven't done anything with that site in a long while. I had something, in its separateness from this blog, but it fell by the wayside when I got wrapped up in being a commuter and having other holes in the Internet to crawl into - Facebook, eg.

Then again, perhaps the same could be said for this blog. I mean, I went from Saturday night to Wednesday night without saying a damn thing, unheard of in past years. Now the point could be made, it's summer and I've said nothing because nothing's going on, but I'm no stranger to the nothing post. I've now done over 1000 posts, probably 900+ of which were really nothing but incoherent rants about whatever random object I happened to be looking at on my desk. What is up with my speakers, anyway?

The truth is, my day to day nothingness has really ground me down. I woke up this morning in a bit of a daze. I hadn't slept well the night before - probably, this had something to do with the copious amounts of caffeine I ingest daily, in this case not even long before bed. I also had to swap out my dvd player - again - when it became apparent that the PS2 was not feeling like co-operating with my DVD-viewing habits. Luckily, no damage was done to the disc (Superbad.) I swapped the player for a portable mini player mom had gotten as a door prize, which worked surprisingly well (when connected to my TV) at least in the short run. We'll see if it has any staying power in the long run.

Anyway, after a mostly-sleepless night I was pretty unfocussed. I didn't feel like doing anything, although it's unfair to blame that on the day, because I haven't felt like doing much lately. Hermitifying, as one friend has called it. Not a positive condition. The problem is, being my own worst enemy, I prevent myself from getting anything done, pretty actively. I've been distracting myself with little amusements, and avoiding those things that do not grant me instant satisfaction. My limbs are heavy.

Indeed I seem to be procrastinating even more hardcore than usual. Whether it's school - loans or course selections - or getting that damn job. Things that would be beneficial to me, I shun in favour of slight distractions, Wii Golf and DS Tetris and the like. I feel like a mess.

It's no picnic being inside my head these days. Such low energy. So the gray, dreary morning devolved into a thundering, stormy afternoon and then a bright, cheery evening. Go figure. When I checked the weather network this morning, it said the long-term forecast was "N/A." It shouldn't be allowed to do that, unless there's not going to be a tomorrow... which I think would at least warrant a graphic of its own.

The other day, Eric and I went to get Fish & Chips. It isn't that either of us particularly care for Fish & Chips, but Art's - a Sixth Line mainstay for years now - has a Tuesday special and we've been trying to find interesting meal ideas to get us out of the house. I hadn't been there since early in high school, grade 9 or 10 when I'd go over when friends. It hasn't changed a whit since, right down to the Trivial Pursuit cards with the somewhat out of date questions. The Fish & Chips are still decent, though.

Sunday night was Cam's 5th birthday. Go figure. He's becoming quite a little ruffian, or whatever old people call kids. He was mostly interested in playing the usual games... Octopus, Spider-Man, Hide & Seek (my personal favourite because it involves little effort on my part) and of course... wrestling. Yeah, the kid's starting in with the roughhousing, and as a result the brothers and I worked up quite a sweat tossing him around. Some extended family members - Elizabeth, her kids and aunt Marjie - were also there. Elizabeth's daughter Madison is a sweet girl but at this age, been described as a bit of a "drama queen." She's a bit grabby with her little brother, (Aaron, a real quiet kid,) but but the second anything goes wrong - bonks head, stubs toe - she wails bloody murder. Kids. Hah.

Needless to say, we'll have plenty of ammo in a decade or so when they're capable of being embarrassed of their childhood personalities. Cameron's fixation on wieners and vaginas goes at the top of that list.

I'm sorta darting all over the place, but there's not much of a narrative here these days.

I spoke to Chris F. earlier today. I told him things were boring here, and he reported some road-weariness over on that end, although not necessarily from himself. Of course, a monthlong trip through Europe isn't going to be easy on you. I'm envious, but frankly, I wish they were doing more exciting things. Hah.

The title of today's post came from someone I met recently. She had just gotten back from Russia and described it as one of those "slight life-changing experiences." I said, well that's always good when life changes, but just slightly. "Just a little tweak." She laughed along with my lame remark and noted, "Yes, a tweak in the right direction." I think that's what I need right now.

Incomplete thoughts in run-on sentences.

Me, as always, trying to get a grip on my life tonight. Every night. 1,000 nights and counting.

Oh, and I need to give myself a shave.

Keep on rockin'
-Scott