Eight: Forever Ago

Dipping into the gin tonight. I am alone and not upset about it. There are times when I feel bad that I never seem to do anything on Saturday nights but I have generally made my peace with it. Plus, I'm just too damn tired to fight it tonight.

Things change fast sometimes. It was Just over three years ago that I called the Sheridan Tim Hortons to check on the status of my resume, and ended up working like a 6-hour shift. It was one of the worst feelings of my life. This weekend's circumstances are considerably more favorable.

I was sweating my HMV interview a little bit. Partly because It'd be my 3rd time interviewing for the job since 2006, and it'd be the 3rd different person I've interviewed with. I wasn't looking forward to going through all the motions again. What's more, I had made the interview for Saturday, thinking I'd have to go to Toronto on Friday to work on my Drama presentation. Well, after a brief meeting on Wednesday (man, we are disorganized) I found out I'd have to come in on Saturday and not on Friday.

So on Friday, I made arrangements to come in and talk to Karen, the new manager, at 1. I got there early and spent some time hanging out with Manda at Coles. The meeting, much to my relief, wasn't an interview at all. She pretty much just wanted to hire me and talk to me first to make sure I was, you know, cool, or whatever. I guess.

I ended up booking myself into an all-day shift on Sunday. I had a choice between coming in at 12 or coming in at 9 and for whatever stupid reason I picked 9 because hey, more money. I'm not even sure whether I'm just Holiday temp or if this is for real. I'm a little nervous if it's permanent, because it was what I've wanted for years, and I guess it's kind of stupid to be nervous about that. Well, I've never claimed anything I've ever said made logical sense. I'd be okay if it's just for the holidays, and yet I also hope it's permanent, because if they're going to employ people, they ought to employ me.

So all of a sudden, like in previous years, I'm a guy with a job, and I'm in school. It's funny how, except for that one time, I never work during the summer. and that one time didn't even work out. I guess it's just because I'm only ever interested in working at HMV. I mean, it's my ideal part-time minimum wage job. I get to talk about music and movies, it's close to my house, I'm good at it. None of that was true of my first and next-most substantial part time job, at the bowling alley. Well, I was kinda good at it I guess. But of course there was no passion.

After that, I was feeling pretty good for the day. Got comics, did stuff... then after having a brief convo with Cary about the next play, which I've been letting gestate in my head, I decided to actually do some writing. I kept saying "Oh, November, November will be better" but for once I decided fuck it, there's no time like the presence. It felt good to finally get some stuff on the page, although I sense it still has a ways to go before it is really good.

But it's good to start in on it. I've had a good sense of how I am going to go about this project, but until you really make it, it's all speculation. I was considering forging ahead some more tonight, but I decided I didn't want to get too caught up writing when I should actually go to bed before much longer. You know, because I'm working at 9. For some reason.

I don't even understand myself much of the time.

Today was that rehearsal... it's coming along, and we're doing our best to balance naturalistic elements with expressionistic ones. I'm disappointed with myself for not learning my lines better. I shouldn't be surprised though, it was never my forte, and that was 5 years ago when I was in-practice as a half-decent drama student who didn't think enough of himself to act more. Oh well. It's coming along.

Keep on rockin'
-Scotto