II: Nearer the last than first

It would be a mistake to say nothing happens in my life. I leave the house every morning, I interact with people, I have co-workers. I was, briefly, dating someone (our relationship was cancelled due to low ratings.) I have a family that influences my life this way or that.

Here and there there is still dialogue coming out of my life, whether they are the focused anecdotes I post on Tumblr or the stray thoughts I have on Twitter. I got to thinking about SWP again today and as always am given cause to how things have changed that I no longer spend night after night outpouring into this thing. Partly, there's a lack - not a complete absence but a deficiency - in material. I can't spill my guts because I guess now I'm just always saving up, waiting for the long game. All my immediate observations go in a timeline and are forgotten the next day. There are now huge stretches of time I can't remember, which wasn't the case as much when I was SWPing it up. It's also a little sad that I can't post here without writing about writing here. It's like the last album by a band that's been around for 40 years.

Because those few things that are going on with me right now - at work, with family, with women - are dumb. They're dumb things! My problems are dumb problems! I angst about family dinners and subsurface work drama that only indirectly concerns me. I dream of women I can talk to about Game of Thrones. I wonder if I'm going to go on a trip next summer. I revise and restructure my theories about how I'm supposed to blog about music. I cram in a scrap of creative writing here and there. I do write. I swear, I am. Is it serious, is there any money let alone any future... I don't know. I don't. I know what I am doing right now is not permanent. I know it's less temporary than you'd think. I sigh. I feel more like glue than ever.

This post is quite the treadmill... a bit of a workout but I know it's going nowhere. I can't tell you what's happening. Nothing is happening and all I can do is imply the nothing. This is life.

It's... weird.

Keep on rockin'
-Scotto