Fifteen: Honeyed

I'm not in by any means a bad mood right now, which may be why I decided to favor you with this quick post. I'm feeling a little reflective. We are at the cusp of summer -- early may and it's gotten very warm after a few cool or rainy weeks. I'm trying not to see the whole entire summer collapse before my eyes. routines have caused time to pass abnormally quickly and it's put a fear in me. I've been going for walks around the complex, with or without Mel (see below.)

The actual minutes that make up the day are fine. I'm underachieving, but that's not new. We've gone over and over about how I only have so much to give to my job and everything does get done, but it gets done with such efficiency that I could probably fit more stuff into my day (and have been working on that) but I simply... don't. That's not healthy or good and if some folks heard me saying it they might react unfavorably, so let's underline the fact that things do get done. I should simply be doing more things. I could probably stand to go back to planning out my days a little better too, since I tend to merely float from task to task (oh, did I do that? What's left for today? Oh, here's another e-mail and a help ticket.) It's a me problem, and it's been a problem forever, but it's not as bad as it used to be since everyone knows I get my stuff done, and if I have to hang around the computer for hours, so be it.

Because of course, Mel is the one who has been hanging online far too late into the evening. They've got her working herself to the bone and I don't care for it. She's really taking some of the pressure to heart and I hate seeing it. It's not the kind of environment that deserves a Mel, since she gives her all until there is no more to give, and this company seems a little bit to be all take. 

Mel is going on a work trip to Alberta this weekend, which is also the source of some distress. She'll only be gone about three days from Sunday night until Wednesday. Her flight home is scheduled to be very early and she's been trying to get it changed. Honestly it sounds like a nightmare and she has very little support on this. It's going to be a quiet few days, but I'm being dragged back into the office Tuesday and Wednesday so it shouldn't be so bad for me. 

This past weekend was Mother's Day, as well as an early birthday for Brandon, so we went to Dad's Saturday night, Mel's parents for "brunch" (at 1:30) on Sunday, and then stopped by my mom's on the way home. I will admit I was a little antsy during the brunch visit because of the late start and my intended visit to mom, but that's largely on me. I didn't want it to show outwardly, but you know, I was definitely doing the peepee dance on the way out the door. It was nice though, and I would have liked to stay longer, under other circumstances.

I've been writing. And I know, I'm always writing, but this is different. I've developed a scheme to try to write a real-ass novel. I'm going to start by writing a short version of about 5000 words, then expand it to 10K, 20K and so on outward until I have a full book. Will it work? I've never had the discipline for "technique" before, always relied on sheer grinding and trying to create publish-worthy prose in my first drafts, which is always my downfall.

Who knows; with the slightest bit of finesse I might make a little less mess.

This has certainly been a bona fide post.

They said the air was singing.

I've been listening to a lot of R.E.M.

Keep on rockin'

-Scotto