Six: Ping/The Long Game

The rest of the vacation, such as it was, came and went. Mel had, by her own account, a pretty good day at work after her initial anxiety, which lends credence to my understanding of it. She even came home beaming that her boss praised her and said they made a good team. I focus on the static between her and her boss but the truth is she's often very kind to her, so. It's just that bad things get magnified in our mind especially when filtered through the perspective of someone we love.

Yesterday we woke up to some mondo snowfall, which we were totally unprepared for. Mel was actually quite chipper in the morning and we had kind of a dawdling sitdown at breakfast but then when it came time to go I saw I had to brush off the car and nearly had a conniption. Rookie mistake, not checking the snow until it was time to go. Flustered, I started to work furiously. We didn't have time to change Mel into her boots (they're a little stiff so she needs my help getting them on) which meant that, partly on my advice from earlier, she was going downtown in her running shoes. (I don't remember what they're called but they are a special kind that are fully waterproof. And just think, revcently she considered buying a pair of boots from that company!)

The drive to the station was painful as we had to pace ourselves, but we were situated behind a garbage truck for most of the way that helped us get a path. We almost didn't make it, but we did get her to the train on time. I texted Mel's mom (for whatever reason, she's often my go-to for random chitchat) saying we barely made it and I couldn't imagine this being a daily commute. She advised me to treat myself to some coffee. I waited a minute to make sure that the train went, and that there was no text from her saying she had missed it, because that round trip would suckkkk. I got home and bummed.

I actually did some writing. Overall I was pretty okay with the level of writing that did or didn't happen during the week. I had lots to do and didn't want to force myself. That said, sometimes you need to press through, so getting it done at last, on Friday, was good. I was hoping to have something big done for March but it's slooking unlikely. Steady as she goes.

I also, on a whim, watched the first episode of the Y: The Last Man series that was on FX but got canceled after a single season. The comic was huge to me back in the 2000's, and I thought it would make a great show, but man, they whiffed it. I'm predisposed to be kind to it, so if it was any good I would have touted it, but that first episode was not inspiring and didn't make me want to watch more. Aside from a prologue, the entire episode takes place in the beforetimes, and while I get wanting to spend some time setting things up, when you consider that all the male characters featured are about to die, it feels very grueling. There's literally a handbook on how to do this, from LOST, to The Walking Dead, to the Leftovers, to just throw your audience into the situation and explain as you go. You don't need to spend 40 minutes hammering them with "These people lived in a world very much like yours. They had husbands and sons, and the government worked, or didn't work, the way it did, and people had petty issues and secrets and plans for their lives... stay tuned for what happens when it all goes to shit." You know what that tells me? This is a show that is wasting your time. It will not be careful with you, the viewer, and your limited attention span. You can't count on it. I'm still mad about it today. Ultimately, it was the least enjoyable hour of my entire vacation, and I spent seemingly hours on end in the car on Wednesday.

Also yesterday, I set to work putting up the windowshade in the spare room, but got stuck needing to buy screws. By the time I was home and ready to get back to it, Mel was actually, surprisingly, on her way home, having gotten off early. Which was great, but I had actually had a late snack of bagel with cream cheese to tide me over until dinner which was thought to be at 9. So I picked her up and I ordered dinner (Burgertone, yum -- I had the crispy chicken sandwich for once, great.) but we had to wait for her to confer with something back at work at 8, so we did end up eating a little late, by which time I was indeed peckish.

This morning, Timehop brought me a memory that caused me to investigate what was going on 9 years ago. I checked Tumblr (which is how I was mostly recounting my life at the time as this blog was in a semi-comatose state) and found this entry about a time I went to see Matt and Aryn's band TROVE at the Less than Level. There was an interesting mix of "I remember this," "Now that you mention it that sounds familiar" and "I don't really remember this but if you say so." One aspect I've always thought of was it was one of those night (perhaps the quintessential one) where I was recognized as the HMV guy outside of the mall. I seemed to recall I kind of blew it off and regretted it, having missed a chance to make a new acquaintance and be sociable, but it actually sounds like I was quite sociable, and even danced with a random girl (who fell, and cupped my junk as I helped her up -- a big event in the life of 2013 Scotto.) So you know what, it was better than I remembered it. The whole thing made me think about how much detail I put in these things and what gets lost. These days I tend to skim, and when I go back and re-read (because you know I do) sometimes stuff sparks between the lines, and sometimes it's more like "What am I going on about here?"

So stuff will get missed. Like when the receptionist at the Dentist (I want to say Lisa, but I can never remember) asked me if it was cold out, and I said it was more rainy, and she said my glasses were fogged up and I said "Oh yeah, it's at least that cold." And then I could almost not figure out how to unwrap the shoe-covers they had out for me to use. Or how after dropping Mel off on the platform during her anxiety day, I walked past some dudes who looked like a construction crew smoking weed. You know, things that are destined to be lost in the fog of memory, especially mine. The problem is so much of my life these days is not lived in active verbs, it's all at a computer desk or on a couch, so there's seemingly less to recount. There will be vacancies and gaps. 

Maybe life has become so hazy in my middle age that I'm not as observant anymore. All the little details don't stand out to me. It's a higher threshold for what seems like a big deal.

Anyway, I just wanted to log on to say all that. It's been a good week and I'm pleasantly surprised how much writing I've done here this month, but don't expect it to last. Things don't work that way anymore.

But I'll be here when I can.

Keep on rockin'

-Scotto