Three-and-Twenty: Gimmie

So, okay. There's not necessarily a reason for me to be posting right now, but to be fair there's usually notva reason for me to post. I happen to be at the office today, having escorted Mel in (this is her safety behaviour but it beats me dropping her off and waiting for her to get home for dinner.) And likeva dumdum I have locked myself out of my computer due to getting the password wrong too many times. This seemingly has nothing to do with being in the office, of course... it's the same damn password I input every day of my life. IT said they could get to me at 10:15 so I'm just twiddling my thumbs exhausting every source of distraction I have. (Rudely, Blake has not yet posted his daily meme dump.)

There is one thing going on which is making me antsy all around. Being that Mel and I are doing fertility testing, I have been abstaining since Thursday. They said to do so for 3-5 days. My test is on Tuesday and I wasn't really feeling it on Thurs or Fri so I backed myself into going the full five. If I'm being candid -- and hey, this is my blog so you can skip all this if it is too gross --

-- I mean it skip it now --

Really

Okay, so reflecting on it, I'm not sure when I've ever gone 5 whole days of total abstinence. I mean, I had the same problem of self-control from 13-18 every guy does, at which point I basically just admitted it was part of life, made me feel good, had no negative consequences* and was going to come out whether I did it or not, so why not go for the controlled environment?

* I talked to someone, not a doctor, back in my teen years who tried to pin back problems I was having on excessive onanism (great word) but I think it was just a bad mattress.

Anyway. I went on a few school trips during which I didn't do it out of a mix of exhaustion, self-consciousness and possibly consideration for my hotel roommates. So I reckon my personal best is probably about 4 days. Of course I didn't self-stimulate much during the early years of my and Mel's relationship but as time went on old jabits returned. Today I'm feeling antsy and uncomfortable, which leads me back to thinking how not-wrong it is to keep it as part of my lifestyle. Mel actually seemed dismayed when I revealed how unusual this is. I hope she recognizes that there is a functional difference between masturbation and sex and when I do one, it isn't necessarily supplanting the other. (I mean, it's definitely an either/or thing but... well, it's complicated.) I should probably try to do it less as we take this journey but I'll consult experts on that.

Anyway, I have to believe that this is affecting my mental state and causing me to lose focus. I barely sleot last night, and tge night before I had a somewhatvsteamy dream. I also walked off with the bag containing her shoes when we parted, doubling back and meeting her on her office's lobby. Luckily this all ends tomorrow. The other negative effectvis that this limits what I can do recreationally. Can't risk temptation by going to certain art sites or blogs or even do my own writing! And here I am in the city during the summer heat where at any moment I might run into some beautiful person in a skin-baring outfit. Uncool.

Okay, the gross TMI stuff is done.

You can stop scrolling

Lol as if anyone besides future-me is reading this.

Well, my time has come. There could be more to say. I went viral with a shockingly well-liked tweet on my X-Men account. 3800 likes, nearly 500 RTs and QTs, and counting. Of course, this does not necessarily convert to more hits, but weirdly I got a huge, seemingly natural wave of people checking out the archive. And there was some conversion, but it was less hits than the previous few days.

Now if only it made me money.

Keep on rockin'

Scotto