Seize: From me to you

I was hoping that tonight would be the night. I was hoping that tonight, I'd finally work up the courage to call her up and get her to go somewhere with me. Where? I don't know, mini-golf maybe. But I couldn't do it. It started raining and I lost that state of mind, as I have oh so many times these past weeks. I jst know my timing would be bad, I'm not an impulsive kind of guy because I just have this prevailing fear that it'll be the worst time possible.

So I'm depressed because of this. What at once seemed for sure now seems like some distant kind of fantasy. We haven't spoken since Cary's show, and even then it was only for a few moments before I foolishly took a sea that was across the room from her, like a shmuck. She hasn't been online in weeks, and even when "she" comes online, I have to ask if it's her, knowing that it isn't, and that I'd be pleasantly surprised if it were. I can't call, she never said I should. She never said I shouldn't, and inf act she gave me her number, but that was for an occasion long since past, and I don't know if taht applies. I mean, it probably does but I'm such a nebbish I have to use it as an excuse for why I don't call her already. I already told you about the fear of bad timing. That's why the internet is so much better for me. She's already there, waiting for someone to talk to her, it's an open invitation. Plus it gives you a moment to think about what you're saying as you type it, but that's a different ordeal altogether.

She's "debating whether or not she likes me," says Vanessa. That's... odd. Well, let me say that it's at least flattering. I do a lot of debating myself, but usually more along the lines of "Would we work? Does it makes sense? Have I got a shot?" The answers to all three of these are "yes," or at least they would be, were she not moving off to University in almost a week. There's no time.

So here I am, spending the evening writing, just thinking about this situation. Something, meanwhile, is stirring within me. Could I make the call? Or will I be proven right about my "bad timing" theory?

Oh, what could it hurt... the worst that could happen is that I get sent back here and I know the answer for sure.

Keep on rockin
-Scotto