O: On things you might not believe

It's hard to believe I fucking stayed in tonight. I'm going to be a bit mad at myself for that one for a while.

It was a friend's birthday. We're close, but only when we're around each other, if you get the meaning. Though we joke around a lot and have fun while we're hanging out, there never seems to be an impetus from either of us to make much contact. Still, I should have gone. My nebbish nature, however, made me less than enthusiastic about the whole ordeal; it was short notice, I didn't know who else would be there (she has, to say the least, an expansive and eclectic group of friends) I couldn't get a ride, etc, etc, stupid bullshit. Last May, when it was my birthday and the movie screening, she was one of the two cast members who didn't show up -- and the other one was out of the province. And her brother was there. I felt slighted, but that's not why I didn't go. I just didn't have the energy, which again, is bullshit and stupid. I haven't been out of the house for an evening in like a month, Risk not included, I kinda did want to go. But nah, I just sat on the couch watching a mediocre-at-best episode of Saturday Night Live.

It's all on me; I didn't like the feel of the situation, which isn't to say I didn't like the idea of getting out, seeing people, knocking a few back, etc etc, just that I still haven't shed that fucking awkward self of mine completely. How stupid, man! Ridiculous! I can't get out and see my friends because the stars aren't properly aligned! I can't even properly express or explain that notion, because it doesn't make sense!

So I'm sitting here on the couch, it's well after 1, and I had to record this thought in the blog or else I wouldn't sleep. I don't even have a guarantee that I will anyhow, but I knew I wouldn't at all otherwise. I could see myself tossing and turning, pointlessly thinking "What a shitty night this turned out to be! I'm an ass!" I gotta alleviate my self-loathing just a bit.

As you might imagine, my 2006 taxes are a bit of a clustrefuck. I finally came clean to dad that I was never paid for my brief Tim Hortons stint, and thus didn't get a T4 from them. My fear was that he'd make it a big thing, whereas at this point it doesn't matter to me, but he shrugged it off anyway. As it is, I've got to find my HMV form to go along with several from Sheridan and one from Classic Bowl. Income taxes were apparently implemented during World War I, like Daylight Saving Time, and those two things, you know, are two things that just don't go away once they exist, even after outliving their relevance.

I was reading up on American Idol at Vote for the Worst. While I always suspected a certain level of chicanery going on with the production and presentation, VFTW has really convinced me of its cause. It acts as a brilliant x-factor i an otherwise sterile and overall rotten competition. Still though, that Sanjaya kid is bad news. Whatever, I'm not watching anyway.

For the record, you can't "Laugh out loud out loud." Obviously, that's redundant. Ergo, see now how stupid it is to type "lolol." Maybe you could get away with "lol, lol," but again, so needlessly repetitive. That's why the early pioneers of the internet were clever enough to give us graded acronyms like "LMAO" and "ROTFLMAO!" You cannot "LMAOOO!" because your ass can only come off once, just like when you laugh out loud, it doesn't get any more out loud. Not to mention that, let's face it, most of the time you're not even laughing out loud at all! Liar!!

That's why I tend to type "Haha" or some variation. It's a harmless onomatopeia to express the emotion humans typically call enjoyment.

I'm tired of staring at the computer screen. It's off to bed. I'll gladly sleep in tomorrow, although I still can't believe what became of this waste of a night.

Keep on rockin'
-Scott