F: Beautiful monsters and bad people

It's been a very difficult week to get through, riveted in the middle with one of the better days I've had in a while.

On Monday (a day on which I actually posted) the hours were dragging. I felt like I was in trouble. I decided to take the next day off for the sake of my very long, very important essay due Friday. It was time well spent as I formulated myself a thesis and cracked into the all-important legwork in the afternoon while I would've otherwise been on the train. I then chilled out and procrastinated for several hours while Eric brought home It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia seasons 1 & 2, which required my attentions. Good show. I ended up actually writing about 4 pages (~50%) that night, for which I felt proud.

On Wednesday, the hours returned to their dragging ways. The flaw, foreseen by me, was that I had missed the cinema studies lecture, and thus had no real idea what I was in for with this movie. My friend Alison (I know this world is killing you) had also skipped on Tuesday and was equally lost. It was the complicated matter of indiginous (African) filmmaking, and the film, Cuddo, was not exactly the most accessible piece of cinema.

After that was, of course, poetry. As always happens when we have a guest reader, the class was dedicated to reading his work, then having him come in and read it, and us asking questions. His name was Dempster, with the first name of Barry (phrasing it weirdly may prevent random google-searches.) He was a funny guy with some interesting poetry that was clever and not always totally upbeat but usually quite probing. He seemed to go over well, and his anecdotes and self-effacing added some good dressing.

On the subway with an acquaintence, I saw a penny and picked it up. He noted it was heads-up, which was bad luck. So I dropped it again. Tails this time, I picked it up but then, fearing bad mojo, chucked it. "If I hold onto this thing," I told him, "I might get hit by a train."

I got to Union roughly on time. Ryan, sadly, was absent, so I just sat on the train listening to my iPod random playlist. My bad penny mojo seemed to be catching up with me; The train started to rock back and forth and then lean precariously. I began to feel like I was in danger. My first thought was "Holy crap, I can't believe I might die... and Ryan's not here." Then I listened to my iPod some more and thought "Holy crap I can't believe I might die... while I'm listening to New Sensation by INXS." That just seemed inappropriate. (Oddly enough it just came on.)

I had considered working on the essay more on Wednesday night but was understandably tired.

Thursday was the big day. That is, it was my day off, and in most cases I would've dedicate dthe day to finishing my essay. Well actually I would have dedicated the day to procrastinating and feeling guilty, but I had something going on. Last week when Robyn and I were hanging out she expressed a fondness for Super Mario World and I suggest we hang out sometime and play it. I don't remember the last time I hung out with a girl and played video games (actually I do) let alone at my house (actually I do.) We met up around noon and played until around 4, getting through five castles and Star World. Pretty good for a day's work. After that we got some coffee and chilled out.

We talked about life, relationships, boobs (I'll talk about boobs to anyone who will listen)... my preteen awkwardness, which I like to talk about to prove (to myself if nobody else) I'm over it. We had one of those long topic-sprawling conversations but it did center on those matters. I kinda took it on myself to burrow into something I figured (apparently rightly) was troubling her the week before. It's good to talk, and be listened to. And these days, I like to listen.

Not, like, cup to the bedroom door listen, but actually listen. Don't be gross.

I got home around 5:30 which was a problem because it's always a problem when I can't be found. We'd been through this when I showed up late for my aunt's birthday and now here I was nearly missing grocery shopping. I'll admit I had lost track of time, but Eric laid a trip on me about not having a cell phone, pushing hard that the time was coming to get one.

After hemming and hawing about the various reasons I resist, I just told him I didn't want it to be "another one of those things" to worry about having with em, about paying for nd chargind and all this other crap. I know there are times when it would've been far easier for others if I had one. At the same time I don't feel like there's a vital problem with my life without a cell phone. I will get one eventually... society is making it increasingly difficult to live without one. But for now, I don't really want it. I'm a fucking luddite and proud.

After we got back I set down at the computer and hammered out the remainder of my essay, modifying my thesis somewhat. I don't know that it's my best work... it's one of those "hope for a 74" pieces... but I think I'm in tight with my TA. I sent him a question and not only did he answer, he said he thought well of me that I asked that question. So that may colour his perception of my essay positively. Or it may just reveal me as a dumbass. Que sera sera. The point is, it's done.

I finished the piece by 10 and indulged in watching Eric's and my new favourite show, the L-Word. I know that may come as a shock because I'm not a lesbian or a housewife or a woman of any description, but hear me out. I'm surprised more men haven't caught on, because not only is it pretty sharply-written with good characters and interesting stories, it's got some of the hottest sex scenes I've ever seen. Now that I've let the secret out, think of me when you're watching the L-Word, guys.

Well, that actually might ruin the whole thing, so maybe don't.

After a long dream that felt like a lengthy film, I woke up this morning very reluctantly. I was kinda in a miserable mood going through three rought tutorials... hammered in philosophy with questions I can't always grasp, settled in Narrative with a book I've not yet read... puzzled in cinema study by a movie whose lesson I didn't absorb. Hurm. This week has been very up and down, but mostly down.

I've got what looks to be a decent night lined up from here on, though, so I'll let you know how it works out.

Keep on rockin'
Scott
(El Cowlick)