F: Everyone have a look around please

Some days it is exhausting work being the engine of my own destruction.

A short one today. I haven't got a lot going on, and I've been burning myself out on schoolwork lately, not that this is any shock. It's actually exactly what I was prepared to happen - a miserable conflagration of essays and presentations. And me, sucking badly as ever at time management and preparation.

To that end, I took Tuesday off. I'd forgotten how refreshing it is to take a day for yourself, even if you don't sleep in much more than usual. I went out for coffee, read my sources, and spent all day pondering the French New Wave, going from enthusiastic to utterly convinced I had nothing to say on the matter, and back, repeatedly throughout the day.

I didn't even get started writing until 8 PM (big shock) although once I started into it it was fairly easy just to keep going. At 10 pages, pretty much everything was game. Honestly though, it's yet another 73. That's my number, I'm resigned to it. I don't have the effort to go beyond it, for the most part. I just hope it's not less than that. It's not a great paper as far as I can tell, but all the ways I thought might improve it also sounded wholly stupid. But that's me for you.

So I wrote from 8 til about midnight, glad to reach the midway point of page 10 right at bedtime and saving myself once again from an ill-advised all-nighter. The handout said "at least ten full pages" but fuck 'em. There was enough filler already. Yeah, I'm not proud of myself.

Still, I'm in a good mood today. I was walking down Blood with a big ole grin on my face, sun high in the sky, ice cream cone in my hand. Life, sometimes, is good for its own virtues. I'm at ease and not totally feeling overwhelmed for my next few papers (yet.) It's a good midway period. I just have.... well, still a shitload of stuff to do.

Ahem.

The frustrating/amusing thing is that the more I have to concentrate on these school projects, the more prevalent in my mind others projects get. An idea I had several weeks ago for a play. A novel I half-conceptualized about 2 years ago. These things weigh in my brain more and more when I'm trying to think about Truffaut and Bazin and other things.

I guess none of it's really important anyway, including this entry.

Ah well. It's a gorgeous day.

Keep on rockin
-Scotto