Eight: Marry the Pie

This, was my advice to Joe, after he told me what his girlfriend did for him on Valentine's. She made him dessert, some kind of brownie-pie concoction, drizzled with chocolate and/or some kind of syrup. If it doesn't work out with Viki, he should probably just marry the pie.

Tonight I will probably be staying in and feeling good about it. Despite my broken pledge (there's still time, sure...) with regards to my history paper, I feel I have made good use of my Reading Week. Tuesday being the main exception, but every day but that one has been spent in part at least with a friend, or multiples. I can rest easy tonight.

I spent the bulk of Thursday, when we last saw our hero, recuperating from the massive, sudden, intense cold I had incurred sometime between Tuesday night and Wednesday afternoon. I already told you the details of my convalescent period on the couch. It was grim, I tell you. But as we know, the next morning I woke up with pretty much only a sore throat remaining of my woes. They doubt you ColdFX, but I know your ways. You won't give your blessings to the non-believers, and so I am sanctified. Or something.

After grocery shopping and a hasty dinner of chicken nuggets, (my appetite wasn't up but then again I probably should have eaten more,) I found myself at WOSS to see their latest Sears play, Love Diatribe. I arrived just in time to catch the girl at the door to ask me "Student or adult?" I smiled and said, "What do I look like?" She said I was borderline and charged me for student. Woooo. I went and sat next to CB, amongst my fellow grads.

It was an enjoyable show. The play itself was kinda what I get in mind whenever I think negatively on the idea of live theatre. Very stagey is all. I know that seems appropriate when you consider it is, you know, a stage play, but I just think it isn't quite in line with some of the previous successes that school has had, dating back to Einstein and Twelve Angry Men (or the more comedic takes like Dandy Dungood, which admittedly you need someone like Chris and Pat to do effectively.) Still, the performances were generally strong, particularly Sam Hogan and Jeff Lyons as the overbearing elderly parents, and the young girl who played Frieda, who was part exchange student part mythical creature. Or maybe I misunderstood the play (deliberately.) Well. Whether it will do well at Sears, I couldn't say, because the entire process of Sears judgment is far beyond my understanding. They've done some really good shows that went on. Then again, I also understand some sihtty shows went on as well. Capricious as the adjudicators.

It was kind of like... when I was young, when I was in Grade 7 and I went to see Sometimes I Wake Up in the Middle of the Night, in which Eric had a monologue, and I was there to see the one person I knew and was too far removed from the other castmembers to notice them. Even though it's often been the case that I don't know a lot or all of the participants (particularly last year's) this was the one I've felt most distant from and that issue certainly isn't going to improve itself. I figured last year would be the last one I'd see, but I wound up at this one because it became part of the plan (and admittedly, I did know two people in it.)

The plan, of course, was bowling. It had been in the works for some time, back to a few weeks ago when, mind idly wandering during a lecture, I wondered how I was going to even spend my reading week, whether anything would happen. I decided I needed to make it happen, and to make it happen I would enlist the bowling alley. And yeah, everyone pretty much balked at my initial idea to have it on what was technically Valentine's Day (although it was good enough for Allan, it seems it would have a different effect with a group of dudes,) everyone was keen to reschedule for Thursday, let's go see the play first, and off we go.

So after the play, we hung around a while, congratulating the people we knew, chatting up the fellow grads... Cassie, Laura and Kate, and Janessa had also shown up. As did Hetherington, who invited himself along to bowling. We caught up with Rosser a while. He's getting married in a matter of weeks (I asked him, will he be keeping his own name?) Finally, after extending invites to come bowling all around, we headed out. The six of us (me, CB, Chris, Pat, Adam and RyLai who wasn't at the play but we picked up after,) was a good number, as it worked out to $10 apiece for the $30 lane fee plus $5 each for shoes. When we arrived, CB got a mysterious text saying "Chris I don't know if this is your number but if you still want someone else to bowl I have a $5 coupon at Classic Bowl." It was Cassie. CB explained that we had a "full lane" (which is somewhat more polite than saying "We could have you along but it would be less convenient.") It was a good group, although I joked later to Chris that given the choice, I'd have swapped Adam out for Cassie. (Earlier, she had referred to the situation as a "sausage party," which despite accuracy, has absolutely no positive connotation.)

We got down to business immediately. I, bowling with a 10-pounder (comically undersized compared to what I used to roll with) opened with a strike and that continued as the theme of the night as pitchers were bought freely and repeatedly, until Feria, my old pal the barmaid, cut us off at 3 (which amounts to roughly 3 drinks each.) In the entire first ten frames I left exactly one pin standing, with 5 strikes, ending up with a 204, which is significantly better than my usual performance in non-league play, and even well beyond what I usually did in leagues. I was just kinda on fire, dedicating my performance to the possible butterface with the nice bosoms on a nearby land (and her semi-thuggish boyfriend.) Pat, Chris Ferg and RyLai all kinda middled, and Adam and CB had a tight race for last. I had instituted a bed (still not sure why they agreed but why ask why,) stating that the last-ranked should buy the first-ranked a drink at the bar. In the end, Adam prevailed, and CB owed me a drink. After the first game ended and our time dwindled, we hurriedly speed-bowled, which resulted in a couple instances of us hitting the guard for the pins (something Val & the managers detest.) We didn't get shit but we laughed our asses off.

A few nights earlier, CB had asked if I had wanted to get a drink, but at the time I was out with Robyn. Oddly enough, if he had texted me rather than MSN, he would have found that we were at the Tim Hortons nearby to his bar and I wouldn't have minded a quick one. So when I got home and learned of his offer, I texted him back saying we'd get one later that week, and it just morphed into a plan for after bowling. Everyone was keen to go along with it, as the entire gang was eager to cap off the Big Lebowski theme of the night with White Russians (excluding CB for reasons not related to his driving. He had a shot of jack.) So we went to CB's home bar, the Stout Monk, where his favourite waitress was done for the night and we were left in the care of Blondie McGee. After a round of caucasians, (general consensus: a good drink,) we switched it up a bit. CB, Pat and Chris got beers and the other three of us got G&T's. Pat and Chris also split a plate of nachos. However, there was a mis-communication when Chris very clearly and explicitly said they wanted the cheap nachos and ended up getting the $14 "Monk Nachos" with all the fixins.

We talked life, school and Lost, until Pat tried to arrange the bill with Blondie. We had arranged this cockamaimie scheme according to which of us had paid for the pitchers, wherein each of the other three would be paired with one and pay for part of their tab. The intention was to get three bills, but when Pat attempted to convey this arrangement to her, she got this weird look in her eyes. As she walked away I looked over at Pat and told him, "Dude, there's like a 50% chance you just ordered us another round." Pat felt confident that the message had been properly sent, but sure enough she turned up with 5 more White Russians and another shot of Jack. Well, what could we do? We drank them and asked for the bill - this time, CB was enlisted to help draft them up.

Then it was over to Pizza Pizza (since McD's was closed) so that hungry persons could get eats. That place is designed for drunken/high adventures, I tell you, they're open until 2, and who else is ordering pizza at 2? Pat debated whether or not he actually wanted to go back for another drink, while Adam had a pizza to himself. I promised him, "Adam, I will give you $2 if you can finish that by yourself right before my eyes." He did not, but partly because time ran out. Finally it was time to go. CB, who'd good and sobered up by this point, (it's important to know one's limits and capabilities,) dropped us one by one, with me at the end to advise him in his intentions on breaking the Platinum Rule (Bro Code article 83.) Of course, this only applies to "co-workers," verbally, so... who knows.

But you know, it seems like thoughts of romance have been flitting around many of my friends' heads of late. Maybe it's the time of year. It was just Valentine's day, it's cold, dark, lonely, people get bored. A friend just asked me to survey his Facebook interactions with a girl to see if it seemed she was into him. I decided she probably was, but had best not dawdle. I couldn't see his side of it (irony: when it comes to reading other peoples' wall conversations, you can never see what your friend wrote, only what the other person wrote to your friend) but she seemed to be playing it cutesy enough that he had a good chance. So I advised capitalization.

Then a little while later, I thought about it, and while my opinion didn't change, my perspective did. After all, when it comes to these matters, I have a terrible track record. I mean seriously. I practically need a signed affidavit from a girl before I can believe whether or not she's into me (except those delightful cases where I've just met the lass that night, in which case, I err on the side of go for it.) What do I really know? But Friend, if you're reading this, know that I did not act merely out of ignorance. I told you what I honestly believe, and I told you what I always wished someone would tell me when I get in these situations. Just to go for it and worry later. Lay it on out there, because a little short-term awkwardness is generally better than the alternative, of not knowing.

Anyway. I woke up today and got comics, then went and hung out with Chris Ferg to see his long-awaited EuroDoc. There's some good stuff in there. It was nice to get the objective details on what went down during that trip.

I have no idea what, if anything, I'll do this weekend. But I feel good.

See the world how you like it,
if necessary, marry the pie,
and keep on rockin'
-Scotto