2:00 AM: Think about the words you've chosen

Watch your language.

It's been an interesting day. In all a good one. I was walking home feeling bummed about it, in my way, because feeling good reminds me how lame I feel, and then feeling lame cheers me up because it reminds me I have some perspective, in which I take solace. I repeat this cycle about 8-12 times per day. It can be trying. But all is balance.

I woke up thinking the same thing I think every Saturday and Sunday morning when I have to work. "Aww... fuck! A perfectly good sleep ruined by waking." It's a peculiar fact of my life that I get to sleep later on days when I am in school than those I work.

But I was determined to not be miserable today. I wanted to find as much pleasure as I could in every little thing. I stood up and said to myself. "Okay, now I'm gonna shower. It's going to be one of the best showers ever." I don't think about it often, but a good shower is a revitalizing experience. Awakening the soul with hot water sprinkled somewhat forcefully, stretching out those muscles.

It was one of the better days thus far at work, although I never say "That was a really shitty day." There are shitty moments. There are shitty customers and especially there are shitty fuck-up moments from yours truly that are entirely on me. You betcha. But even as most days are good enough to overpower those elements, and even as much as those elements were generally present today, it was still a really good day.

It's really a question of atmosphere. For a while it was just me, Taylor and Alan. Real chill. Eventually Karen showed up, and brought in a new temp (potentially the last one?) She mainly did grunt work, and for a time it was my responsibility to train her on the cash. It was... interesting, attempting to impart knowledge. A lot of it has been converted to instinct over the years, and I don't even work there most of the time.

The day rushed by very quickly, to the point where I was taken aback when it was time to go on break. After I got back and we were down to me, Taylor and Alan again, it started to crawl, with a few very rough customer interactions. There was just one that happened to be incredibly poorly-timed as I had a bunch of other stuff going on and it simply would not end, where this woman wanted a refund because she was displeased with her iPod Touch Screen cover, which I'd sold her the previous day. It was a combination of mounting pressure and a lack of ability to get in contact with Alan the only keyholder present (occupied with another customer) that nearly set me off. I mean, it was the first time I've ever actually visualized myself punching a customer in the face. And she was a middle-aged lady.

Early in the day, before we opened, Taylor and I made a coffee run, and he called across the mall to a girl he spotted passing by, who works in EB Games. She didn't hear, had her earbuds in. Later she returned to buy something from us (him) and chat him up in a bubbly, ebullient, even giddy way. At the end of the shift, I remarked, "So, I think that video game girl is into you." His excited reply, "You think? It's not just my imagination?" I told him sure, but don't trust my view, I'm notoriously bad at this sort of thing. But he insisted it was just good to get someone else's opinion on it. Suffice it to say, if I were writing a scene in which a girl were into a guy, it would be a fairly toned-down version of the exchange I witnessed between them two. And probably about something other than video games.

Well, it was adorkable anyway.

Counted out and went home, pondering the spark I saw between them, and as usual managed to turn my good feeling about other people into bad feeling about myself. Got glum by the time I walked up to my front door. The problem with being emotionally isolated as I am is that you really never know when it will randomly come back to you.

Anyway. I got on the computer. For yuks I got on POF as I often do when I've got nothing better going on. I came across this girl's profile. And I thought "Boy, she's interesting. If I had a bit more energy maybe I'd message her." And of course what I was really thinking was "I've not got the balls to message her, but I kinda wish she'd message me." A few minutes later, she did. and we've been going back and forth for a while, and hell, she works at a place right across the road from Oakville Place. So clearly distance is not an object, which is typically what messes up these deals for me as I am a geographic oddity (2 weeks from anywhere. So to speak.)

For the most part the weekend has been uneventful. Ought to note though that for whatever reason, B. got a free plain-cheese pizza with our order from Dominos that he made while I was absent working. I've gotten into the weird habit of eating a second dinner after coming home from work on days where I work late. So I've been pecking away at that, re-heating bits late at night. It should be in the compost soon though. Sunday night is usually the end of the line for leftover pizza, and that's at best.

Now that I've written all that, I intend to take a rest and come back and try to get some more writing done. I'm finding I'm having more ideas for dialogue exchanges than I could reasonably fit, and some of them aren't that good anyway. Edit, edit, edit. Also I had a good idea for a joke that I stole virtually wholesale from Jeph Jacques, but really had my own spin on, so I'm torn as to whether I should use it. Sigh. Moral dilemma.

I ought also to draw at some point.

I've got a 5 hour shift after school tomorrow. It's not such a bad thing, although I'd rather not, I don't mind it. The sun is shining, I'd better make the hay.

Speaking of which, Goddamn has the weather been gorgeous. And me having to work all weekend. Tomorrow I think will be the last day it crawls to the mid-high teens, before going to regular November weather again.

Oh well. Take it as it is. Keep on rockin'
-Scotto