pg 1: I know you're in there

6 years ago I created this blog.

Weird, man. Some years the late-May anniversary hits me more than others. This year it was delayed because I've just been so burned out, but when I say down to write this entry, it occurred to me that We're in the 6th June, the first full month of posts I ever did. Oh those mopey mid-teen days, how hard I've tried to move beyond you.

Every so often I think about giving up the blog. The same small collection of acquaintances reads it as ever did. I'm still bummed about the same stuff. Stuff that changes changes and the rest doesn't. But you know, if I deleted this blog, my baggage doesn't go away with it. It just becomes my sole burden again. If I stop writing here, I go back to bottling it all up, which I've felt over the last couple weeks.

Even if I just stop by here a couple of times a week to talk meaningless chit chat or describe a dream I vaguely recall, it's still something, it's still trying to put it all in order. I don't live a frightfully dramatic life. There is a notable distinction between Taylor's emo friends, thirsty for someone to talk to about nothing, and me, happy to not talk about anything, if the distinction makes any sense.

My problem: same as it ever was, I don't know what I want. My wheels spin, I try to go forward. I do what I can.

Eric went home yesterday, sure to return. I feel bad about radiating negativity during the past week, and some but far from all of it was due to him.

Be good and do it.

Seems easy, but you've got to keep it in mind. Getting my shit back on track entails remembering that before and thing can be done, you must do.

See? See? Where would there be for this nonsense without SWP?

See you in a while. Keep on rockin'
-Scotto