Nine: A way away

I'm glum.

It was actually a good weekend. Really good. An all timer. We took Friday off. We got our Engagement photos taken, which was magical. Mel had set aside a particular top to wear but forgot it so I spent a chunk of the day heading back to the city to fetch it. She was working from home in Oakville. The session was a lot of fun, I think everything we hoped. We had bought fresh new Chucks for the occasion, too, except in the end Mel's were a half a size too small and gave her a blister. We had the session at the park, one where we often used to walk through and play in. We have a good vibe with David, our photographer.

Saturday we picked up my wedding ring. I had had my doubts about my ring in its original incarnation. It felt too thick and too wide. It was also a size or two big. It took a while to come back and when it did it looked really good, I felt really right about it.

We had dinner at Dad's that night, then went with the guys to Dave and Busters. The Raptors game 6 against the Bucks was on, as was the inaugural AEW PPV, Double or Nothing. It was fun, although we maybe bought too many credits. Basically spent all our tickets on candy. They tried to sell us on a package where you get unlimited play on non-ticket games, plus a pass to see the hypnosis show, which tbh I habe a phobia about. We made the right call. Afterwards we had some wings. It was a late night. Honestly felt great to reconnect with those guys.

The next day - my actual birthday - also  ery good. Actually heard from some people I wouldn't have expected, faces from the past. We went to Nonnas, had lunch and watched the Jays-Padres game. The day before, Mama and Papa H had gone to the game and the Jays did the j-o-b (to use wrestling parliance) like 19-1 or somethig but this was a much better showing. The fam got me a shirt from the same series they had gotten me last year, nearly identical. Hey, it happens, we laugh.

On our way home we realized Mel had left her computer behind so we missed our train and got home a half hour later than we wanted... c'est la vie. A late dinner and 90 day fiance.

I was too wound up to sleep though. Too hot on bed, or she's too far over on my side, or dinner was too late or I had too much Espresso at Nonna's. I slept from a out 12:30 until 3, and thrn 5-6. Rough.

I felt salty all day. Feels like every Monday comes with free reminders thst I am, if not bad at my job, poor at managing all the variois elements. Shit falls through the cracks -- more lately than even before, even now that I am trying, or trying to try, to be more aware of this. Each workday brings new things for me to feel guilty about, incompetent about. It makes it hard to bring my best self to work. Lack of sleep also doesn't help.

I felt grumpy by the time I got home and didnt want to cook so I did a boil bag butter chicken. It was pretty good, easier to ensure the chickencooks properly than if I really had cooked it. Eventially I felt better.

Not perfect but better

Tomorrow: another day. Early gym, more work. Focus. Do your best.

Keep on rockin'
-Scotto