#13: One false move.

Okay, let's everybody just shut the hell up for a second. Let me think.

Hmp. That's better.

I only have one test left before I am free at last. It's O'Shea's. I'm cautiously optimistic, and I think I can take it. If I actually do any studying tonight, that is.

So it was thursday, which as usual sucks, because it means Mitrovica at 8. It was the J-History exam, which I disposed of in about a half hour (Mansoor had his eye on the clock when I left, which amused me.) Not that I aced it by any means, but I expended all the useless minutiae I had on the topic of yellow journalism and blogs (ughh) before 9:00. So what could I do? sit there and twiddle my thumbs? I went home and caught a shower. Then I came back, grabbed some Tim Horton's, and hung out in the newsroom for about 2 hours until the next class - the final page design with Roy Wilson.

My toe hurts today. I should really get that checked out.

And whoo, we're really on a rollercoaster now. This is as exciting as it gets, isn't it?

Concentrated bitterness. I'm so intensely wound up over these past few weeks that this break is such a blessing. It's natural to say it "couldn't have come at a better time," and I really do believe that since I may just have snapped if it had gone a week longer. you all know what I mean. You all feel it.

Now for the odd part. I'm at a bit of a crossroads. Well, not so much of a crossroads but a "T-Junction." I looked at my schedule for next semester and noticed... jeezes it's heavy. That is, the hours are late. As in, too late for me to catch a ride to Classic Bowl for 5:00, thanks to the Sheridan Sun practicum (well, really, the Writing for Newspapers course is what overlaps into 6:00 on Tuesdays.)

Gee, it looks like I might *have* to quit... as opposed to merely *wanting* to quit.

There's one good thing about winter, and as I can see, only one good thing about winter, environmentally speaking. As a poetic sort (heh,) this appeals to me. At night, after it has snowed, and the sky is cloudy, light from streetlights and the general world at large, reflects off the snow, illuminating the sky a dark shade of red. As though the night has been lit on fire.

Y'know, I really didn't want to blog too much tonight, but I felt I owed it to myself. Help me get unwound. And of course, I owed it to you, the faithful readers, since as we all know, this is the most popular, entertaining, and insightful website on the entire internet. That must be why everybody always wants to talk about it.

I hate that I'm still fundamentally that fucking nebbish little awkward kid who doesn't want anything to do with anything, and here I sit, typing my problems away perfectly aware that there are people on the other side of the computer screen waiting to scoop up all my hang-ups, pack them up into a cold, tight little ball, and throw them back at me. I'm about ready to snap. And the thing is, I know I'd better be prepared to have every sentence of this blog scrutinized to hell, particularly this one. Ironic. It's cool, but after writing this junk, I have nothing left to say on any of these subjects. Don't like what I write? Cancel your subscription.

I know what compels some people to come back here. others, I'm not so sure. I wouldn't understand the psychology behind coming here knowing that you're gonna take issue with what I'm gonna say, and then taking issue with it anyway.

Save it. Don't bother. I've heard it.

I've said it before, although you probably haven't read those entries so I'll say it here: I like to leave leave the blog at the blog.

(cough.)

Bitter, angry little rant over with. It's just the little things that've gotten under my skin lately. I'd be inclined to blame it on the school schedule. I just wonder which remark is gonna be the one that kills me.

I know the fanbase of the blog expects better that that after all this. After all we've been through together (heh,) I oughtta be able to collect myself better, and conduct myself with a little more maturity.

Nah.

One false move...

Keep on rockin'
Scott "This is all Silly Bullshit" Williams

Addendum: 12:40 I almost considered tossing that rant out for my own safety, but on consideration I stick by it. Besides, it was asked if I was gonna post, and I figured "yeah, I got one." Oh blog... you're so blog.