2-1: We killed our Gods

I need to get a second wind and unwind, for another night I will have whined without being wined.

Ahm, wordplay indeed.

I was considering asking this girl out. No, that's not accurate... "considering" seems to imply that I had any intention of doing so. In retrospect, it was more about idly wondering how it would work out. I don't know. It's been a long time since I bothered to ask a girl out, mostly because I kinda got tired of rejection. Now, that sounds harsh, but it's true, and I got to this point where my desire to avoid rejection overtook my desire to get close to women... and that, folks, is the definition of lame.

It's not as though these so-called rejections were particularly cruel, just that rejection is an inherently disheartening experience, and repeated exposeure to it really kills one's enthusiasm, at an exponential rate for those into the Maths.

Yes, my outlook on life is certainly very upbeat lately.

I got a very polite rejection form-letter from the Online Magazine I submitted that story to. I didn't take it that hard because it's jsut a story - they get like 140 submissions for a single issue and can only "print" 4 so it's no insult they you're not picked (although why only four is a mystery as this is an E-ZINE.) The letter was very nice although somewhat unnecessary as the new issue went up days and days ago and I already knew I was not picked. It was encouraging, which is nice, although in including encouraging words for everyone, they also encourage people who are always going to be shitty writers, thus ensuring the continued barrier against people who are eitehr good or have potential (depending on how I feel about myself on a given day I fall into one of those categories.)

The story itself wasn't that great and will find its way onto Interneta sooner or later. I liked it a lot while I was writing it and still think it's very sweet, but from a technical standpoint it's a bit rushed, owing to the fact that I wrote it in a couple rapid sessions and did not revise (I rarely do although I can acknowledge when it's necessary.) I already sent them The Insomniac back in March. Next time I figure I'll send them Oscar Lloyd, as that seems to have gotten consistently good feedback.

My main trend recently has been to set about doing something and then not doing it. My problem is an abundance of time and a lack of enthusiasm. I have so many hours in a day they're all cluttered with avoiding boredom with idle pursuits rather than actual accomplishment, hence, things get put off. I'm so backed up you have no idea.

Allergies! Augh, itchy, watery eyes. Reactine you deceiptful shrew, you promised you would fix all my problems! Oh, the betrayal! Oh, the humanity!

I need a haircut. Oh so badly. It's getting out of control.

That's all on this humid summer night
KIeep on rockin'
-Scotto