11:00 AM: This is a bad lie; I'm just gonna bail.

Moods change. Perceptions change. Opinions change. Times change. People change. But you know, some things don't. Little things that stay staid amidst the continuous fluctuations of life.

I'm in tonight, everyone else in the world is probably out but me I'm actually happy to relax in my quiet basement, watching movies (on my third one tonight coming up on 1 AM) and writing.

As you might imagine, it's been an odd few days for yours truly; not the most interesting or active necessarily, but it's definitely been one of those weekends. That's life and this is SWP and that's what we do.

Let's double back a bit. My last post was written in the haze of intoxication (which I oh so rarely do) so some of the details were given a bit mosaicked. Blurry, I'm saying. Take for instance the cashier at SuperStore. Not [i]my[/i] cashier, mind you, not this week. When we were getting our groceries we checked out at the aisle next to the one we had last week and chatted her up a bit. I had no reason to; I mean, she's okay but nothing to pursue, but I felt glad I was able to make a random girl smile at my dopey comments. I introduce this point to reflect on it later. Just wait.

So there was that, and there were words on Thursday I didn't even [i]mention[/i] (in so many words) that haunted me after. Stuff CB told me, stuff I can't possibly repeat here (goodness, Linda's probably reading, after all.) Anyway, some of our conversations Thursday night caused me to reflect on my life, what I've accomplished and what I hope yet to do. Time I refocused my energies, I suppose.

Friday was mostly a nothing day, until dinner. I ran out from my dad's house early after some pizza to meet up with Robyn. The way I see it, with the Summer of Wasted Potential drawing to a close, it's time to make the rounds and see everyone off. Terrifying a prospect as this is, I'm gonna be the last goddamn sonovabitch in Oakville come September. Not that I'll be here that much of my time, but I'll be here when I'll be here, as my base of operations, and there won't be anything much I can do. Who knows how Eric not being here will figure in. Freedom can be a cage, fucked up as that sounds.

So I ran off to meet with Robyn for coffee. We were on our way to having one of our most ordinary hangoutages ever, when my stomach sank and I got sucked into a flashback of 2006. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't get ahold of myself.

Well, okay, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have [i]any[/i] idea as to what it was about (there are at least a few theories, and not mutually exclusive,) but it goes to show that sometimes your body and your mind - my body and mind - do things beyond my control and comprehension. It must've been quite a spectacle.

For what it's worth, she was intensely comforting about it, my little flip-out. She and I had an exchange (on two separate subjects no less) that stressed the importance of perspective. Things are often only good or bad depending on how you look at them. I think she said it made me "more human." That was worth a grin. I could stand to be more human. I don't know what I am.

Eric and I chilled for the last time for a long, long while I imagine. I can't say I won't miss him. No more Food network, no more Jon & Kate Plus 8, none of that nonsense. I'm now in command of this basement, and it feels freakin' weird. It's not a temporary thing, is how life is now. He moved out today. We spent a large portion of last night agreeing loudly back and forth on things we hated. Our relationship is like that. We discuss everything in minutely detailed passionate exchanges even when we agree. "Nobody on the planet interacts like we do," I told him. He agreed.

I don't regret it, but felt slight remorse that I skipped out on the rest of the evening to go play Risk. It's more of that "See everyone you can by the end of summer" mission. It had to be Risk. It might be again at some point maybe even before the end, but it always comes back to Risk. Pat Visintini even came out, and I haven't played with that guy since January, and I have no idea why. He was just so hard to get ahold of. But what a champ.

It was an interesting game, quite frankly, filled with the types of conflicts that are so rare in our often by-numbers games. This, I suppose, is why it's important to change the players every now and again. I think this was the first game to have me, Chris Ferg, Pat and RyLai. What happened was that I took Europe (natch) Pat got North America, Chris took Africa and Ryan was turtling in South America while the rest of us pointlessly took and re-took Australia. It was pretty brutal in the end when Ryan exploded out of South America toward Pat, who then pushed into my territory. I missed a chance to eliminate him right as the game was ending at 3 and was in the midst of getting shellacked as we agreed to call it a night.

After getting home at 3, I had to get up at 9 the next morning. I had agreed, for whatever reason, to go with Amanda to the Fan Expo in Toronto...

But that story will have to wait for tomorrow. It's a pretty good one, and it picks up on the point I made about the cashier chick. Maybe not in the most interesting way, but I'm getting there.

Until then, keep on rockin'
-Scotto