#10: South Station Blues

Well oh well, my oh my. What a day.

Today was the dreaded day of shooting at Josh's dad's office. Tough stuff, but you know, he was far more cordial about it than Josh would've had me believe. It was pretty grueling, probably the most awful shoot we've done. Still, as hectic as it happened to be, it's over with and I don't wanna spend too much time reminiscing about it. I jsut want to forget I was ever at Winners/HomeSense HQ today.

As predicted, I missed Farce X-Mas. A sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, that. I said I would, promised I wouldn't, and did anyway. That's circumstance for you. I felt bad about missing a family function, but let me put it in perspective - when Jess, Josh & Co asked exactly what this fake Christmas was, I couldn't explain it. I couldn't explain the idea behind it, what it meant, how it was done, or what purpose it served. I mutted a few jumbled sentences and repeated "I don't know, it's just stupid, it's so stupid." I don't mean to ridicule my family's crazy new tradition, but it's so fundamentally flawed that I can't help it. I still would've liked to see my family, however. Everyone's so busy with their babies, we hardly ever get together anymore. And when we do, there are babies all around hogging all of the attention. Me? Jealous of a baby? Yeah, I am that shallow. Wanna make somethin' of it?

My mother would have me believe that my family is disappointed in me, but I know that's not true, she's just crazy, or a liar, or both. I suspect she's gaining a pathological lying streak, if indeed she didn't have one already. She'll say things, and I'll think "Mom, that's not even remotely true." Except it's not pathological, since she's doing it to serve her own purpose. It's what she does. I have a weird mother. A lot of people have mothers who are weird in a normal way, but my mom is inexplicable. There's no accounting for her behavior. I'm learning how to deal with it these days. I know she was unhappy that I missed the function, but I don't care. There'll be others. All she was missing was me sitting in a corner with cousin Kris, discussing comics, wrestling, and how ridiculous the whole concept was. Not necessarily in that order. Not that I would've minded that - I wish I could see Kris more often, since he moved back to Palmerston. I jsut don't think that can really take priority over finishing the principal photography of my project. Did I mention that I'm doing exceedingly well in that class?

On the way home from the office, Josh put on some of Dane Cook's standup. It's really funny, but I have to complaints - one, that Josh was relentlessly jumping around looking for the "better" material (when I would rather have just let it play through,) and two, that I now realize that so much of his conversation is cribbed from Dane that it's not even funny. And I mean just that - it's not, because he uses them as legitimate conversational points, which is against the whole point. Most notably, the bit about how you can't argue with someone after he says "Fuck you," but there are others.

I was talking to Ana today about the Fringe, and I got nostolgic, wishing I'd had something to offer to this year's festival. Still though, they say "you can never go back again," and I'll take their word for it, since there are more of them than of me. I think it's a better thing to have had all the spotlight last year and to just walk away, instead of greedily seeking more.

I don't know how I feel right now. A little tired. Not extremely depressed. This may be the most moderate I've felt in weeks.

Keep on Rockin'
@Scott.net