I: Time won't let me

No update, no writing... got caught up in my own silly little curiosities. I just hope tomorrow isn't wasted. I am not counting on actually getting the computer, for certain reasons, but I have hopes.

Gotta write my BNA paper tomorrow (same assignment length as last week, same perimeters, might as well do it the same way.) I think Tuesday, between Print Production and History, I'll do my Writing for Newspapers homework since I won't have time to get it done Tuesday night.

But alas the point of this post isn't to schedule my week.

It's about a quarter to two, and I suspect by the time I'm through it'll be 2 and I'll be ready for bed.

I've been on a strange rollercoaster of emotion today. A pall was cast over my joyfulness because I recognized some of my own feelings in someone else. And nobody should ever have to suffer as I did earlier this week. I wish there was something I could have done to prevent this, if only I'd seen it coming.

I've been sad about that, I've been happy to talk to a good friend, I've been sentimental about romance, I've been relieved to be alone (yeah, that sometimes actually happens, although it's not well documented.) All in the past few hours. I ought to go to bed. But I'm trying to sort myself out.

There are many questions, the answers to which I do not know.

I figure there's a 50/50 chance she's reading this, and y'know, I'm not lovesick or anything, because lord knows I've learned my lesson. I just wish we didn't have to leave it the way we did. Whether it's over or not I think neither of us can say. There still remains a question, unaddressed, from that night. Neither yes nor no insinuated themselves into the equation. And that's the killer. But I'll not bore you readers with the details, only tease you with the trailer.

I feel all right. A friend told me today, "I don't get you," but she said it with such fondness that I couldn't help but be proud of that. If people started getting me, I'd have to change my entire way of life.

I have other thoughts, but they've all agglomerated themselves in my head and become inextricable. That's right, writer's craft words. I need to shed this sentimentality for now, revisit it at a time when I'm better-rested.

As it is, if I go to sleep soon, I may wake up tomorrow.

Good night and keep on rockin'
-Scotto