Ch15: There's probably somebody (who could have helped)

So... it's nearly 3 AM and I can't sleep. No, that's a lie... I'm just not sleeping. I'm very nearly 19-years-old and I still occasionally observe the tradition that Saturday nights are a good time to stay up later than usual.

I wrote a post last night that I absolutely refuse to post. I'm just going to delete it from existance. I've been in this inwardly-drawn psychosomatic paranoia, in-and-out all week and last night was then culmination of that.

I can't explain. There is an explanation, but not one I care to provide beyond my own psychosis. It's gone now, and while someday it might be back, I think last night was the worst of it. That's quite enough dweeling. Apart from my own brain, there was enough difficulty getting tonight together.

It was Ryan Wheeler's much-anticipated birthday, wherein I loaded up some (ill-gotten, some would say,) alcohol in the laptop bag and walked to his mother's new house, which is in a neighbourhood that freaked me out to see; one of those "look at these impossibly nice houses, they were built in a weekend" neighbourhoods in Oak Park.

Annyway, the night was your average reunion of the ole gang, minus those who are not in this country. Chris Brown took this opportunity to be the one time he doesn't drive (hence my walking for 40 minutes over there, and thanks to Barrett for a ride back.) There were Kings, sparklers, tears (from some,) fish, drunken Guess Who, and much repetition of the phrase "next week," but that's a matter for a later time.

It's so weird how wound up I've gotten in the past two days, all things considered. Just proof that it's all in my head, and all I jneed to get around it is to accept that I am a big shmuck and will never change, even if it benefits me. Shmuckiness is just in my nature.

Instead of merely saying "yes I will be applying for jobs soon," I actually started handing out resumes yesterday (or Friday, for those glancing at the time and wondering.) I've got some good leads, although Home Depot sounds less appealing since apparently June will see the temporary closeure of the path under the QEW, which was key. We'll see.

Mom's away this weekend, which affected the way I went about things but not likely the result.

We haven't spoken in a while, I hope you're all right. For now, I need rest.

See you soon *(some of you.)

Keep on rockin'
-Monsieur Williams