2.0: Unaware he was invisible

Somehow, I'm treading those same old tracks.

It's one of those nights, like what I've been writing about in Collection of Curiosities. The world is alive but the night is dead. I can feel the actions of others out there, but have none myself.

That's been it so far. I know, it's only 8:00, and I've been mentally writing this post for a little while now. But it's weird. God knows where most of my friends are at. Some have school. Some are hanging around. Some hve parents' birthdays. Some are at home, writing up a photography exhibit for the paper. Some are having house parties. Some have nothing.

I, myself, was supposed to be playing Risk this evening. Unfortunately, that fell apart. For its sake, I disregarded a perfectly good invitation out to Toronto. Maybe another time I'll go. As it is, I've kept my plans limited to kicking around Oakville tonight and we'll see how that works out.

The above italicized portion, I wrote a few hours ago, just after 8. It's now 1:09 and I'm about to get to bed, but I may as well complete the thoughts and elaborate upon them now that the night has closed.

Like I said, at the time, I was waiting to find out exactly what I was going to do tonight. It was supposed to be Risk. But then Chrisbrown couldn't make it to Oakville and Pat went out to some party with a bunch of hooligans, and Chris F. and I just sorta watched our hopes for a return to the glory day of Risk showdowns go by the wayside. So we're trying to figure out what to do. And by this time, earlier anyway, I had gotten an invite to go to Alyssa's and potentially drink myself into a stupor well into the night in Toronto. It felt like a pretty good idea, but at that time the idea was still Risk. So I had tossed that invitation for something that wasn't going to happen. As much as I wanted to get out of the house - and the Toronto idea was philosophically good - the night didn't feel right for going and drinking with a houseload of strangers.

Then again, I can see myself in another dimension having greatly benefitted from that little leap of spontinaity. I was and am very doubtful that the right Scott (fun and outgoing) would have shown up to that party rather than the wrong Scott (withdrawn and irritated.) The latter had appeared at Conorton's last week and I was not interested in repeating that in a new venue.

What ended up happening is we went to Laura's house and hung out with a bunch of Grade 12's, including James Edgar. Usually I'm very mindful of the age gap, but good Scott actually came, and the night was relaxing. Plus, it got me away from th bark machine.

I can't really say what, if anything, came from all this. At one point I was bored, then I was not. People I know are out there, living their lives, walking their paths. And someday, I'll find myself on a train to Toronto with the mission of getting hammered and having no way home.

There's more to say (as usual) but I can't muster the energy. Me tired.

Keep on rockin'
-Scotto