Twenty-Five: This!!

Yesterday was my wedding day, a day I will probably reflect on for the rest of my life. All of a sudden this day is not some hypothetical thing in my future that I am planning and envisioning, but a real night that happened and that I have memories of. Conventional wisdom holds that they day goes by so fast that you don't even realize it, and I don't doubt that that's true for a lot of people, but for me, I felt the whole day, every second of it.

I woke up feeling nervous, for the first time during this entire process. My body and my psyche simply had not permitted nervousness to occur. This was something I wanted and something I was resolved to do, and worked hard to make happen, and even in rough moments when I worried about things that might go wrong or disappoint, it was never nervousness I felt. This was different though. I woke up in my unfamiliar surroundings, without Mel, and I knew I had a long day ahead of me doing things that, either I've never done them before, or never done them from this angle.

So yes, let the record show that from about 8:15 AM until about 9:30 AM, I was feeling a case of "the jitters."

After I got out of the shower (oh yes, this is going to be one of those luxuriously detailed posts, why shouldn't it be? How could it not?) I felt somewhat better, and then the guys arrived and we had a chance to set about our tasks for the day. Just getting dressed was a whole thing, with the suspenders, the cufflinks, the buttons, the pocket square - the guys in Oakville obviously hadn't received the same level of service I had gotten from the Tip Top in Toronto (where Phil had "thought of me" when he found out they wouldn't be doing rentals anymore, making me one of the last) where everything was explained to me in not even that much detail.

After Amanda arrived, we were ready to order pizza, and the photographer and videographer arrived in short order to take various photos, both staged and candid, of us doing our final preparations, or pretending to - pinning on boutonnieres, putting on jackets, tying up shoes - David and Matt both got a kick out of my Chucks, which were designed to match the ones Mel would be wearing. We wrapped a little bit early on that and had to wait around for the limo to arrive.

Once he did, we hurried into the car, perhaps in too much of a rush - Kris and Brandon forgot their jackets, and we forgot the pizza (probably the biggest thing to go wrong to that point in the day, which left me, and Eric, feeling quite hungry, since I was too jittery to eat much at once.) The ride over was smooth, the Limo was great, I put on some music once we were able to figure out how to connect my phone to the Limo's sound service, but there was not much traffic so we got to LaSalle after only three songs. If I had thought about it I would have downloaded a playlist onto my phone ahead of time, but as it is it's hard to encapsulate the significance of the moment in only three tracks (they were New Radicals' "You Get What You Give", Foster the People's "Coming of Age" and Thin Lizzy's "The Boys Are Back in Town", with Cake's "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" cueing up as we arrived. I only just now thought maybe the guys would've enjoyed hearing "Cult of Personality" but it's not downloaded on my phone and not exactly wedding-y. Kris would have marked out, though, as we say, and maybe that was left un-done based on the rest of the day.) Eventually, we confirmed that Mom and Ross had grabbed the coats - not surprisingly, we thought, based on Ross' awareness of anything in his house that isn't his.

Once we were at the venue, we just had time to mill around and have the run of the place. Again, maybe a bit too much time - it's possible the entire day's events could have been moved up by an hour or so, but honestly, why leave anything to chance? We arranged some things and waited and I tried to focus my thoughts on remembering my vows because I wanted to deliver them by heart. The sentiment was easy to recapture but the writer in me picked some very careful wordings that I didn't want to mess up, and I haven't had to memorize lines for anything in about ten years, I think since I gave that drama presentation where I had to wear the box on my head.

We tossed the football around, in a nod to Tommy Wiseau's The Room, one of Kris' many innovations to make the day special.  I will admit that in the end it felt like he went a bit overboard, but that's such a silly thing to complain about. He's such a sensitive, sentimental guy that it's easy to see where it's coming from, and the sentiment is really appreciated. In my way, I wished I could load the day with more sentiment and more meaning myself. I wanted to give the guys much more personal gifts than I did (Wallets, scarves to wear for photo ops) but didn't have the mental energy to do much more.

Eventually, the guests started arriving, and we greeted them and ushered them as much as possible. I was slightly miffed that most of the people who were arriving late were on my side. I love my family, I truly do, but sometimes I feel like they haven't had the opportunity to get used to moments of significance like this the way other families have. I have no doubt that they did their best to get their on time - there was a lot of people moving and a long road to drive - but when I was standing at the altar, I was not eager to be waiting to see when my grandma would arrive, or Aunt Lori, who was to do a reading. (In a weird way, it echoes our own lateness to Elizabeth's wedding, where we arrived at the last moments when we were theoretically supposed to be ushers. And it's only fitting since I was so late to Meagan's wedding that I came in at the same time she did. Believe me, I have always felt bad about that. At least all of Mel's bridal party partners arrived on time.)

No wedding is without hitches, you know, but as far as ours goes we got off pretty light. It feels unfair to dwell on them, because so much of what happened was so perfect, but I really do want to include a full account of it for good and bad. But it's true that nothing that went wrong with the wedding really bothered me. It's funny. I had told Mel and Rielle that whenever I had been to weddings I would notice flaws and odd moments and think "Mine won't be like that, it will be perfect, I'll have it on lockdown." And then the day arrives and you realize that's impossible, so you surrender and go "Whatever happens, happens." And then honestly, what happened felt pretty perfect, or at least I was protected from any serious issues. (Wellllll... I guess it's all about perspective, because yeah, hitches will be detailed below.)

We also got word that Priya was going to be "not early" due to a family emergency, but as the moments were ticking down and I was pressed to determine what, if anything, we should tell Mel, she appeared, and all was well.

Grandma did arrive and I escorted her to her seat (to the tune of LOST's "No Place Like Home," a sweeping melody that I had personally picked out as a potential seating music piece, in what I would say felt like honestly a perfect moment. Then the bridesmaids made their entrance, to the tune of Michael Giacchino's version of Shambala (again from LOST - I promise, Mel okayed it!) and I steeled myself. It had been long months. I had never seen The Dress. I never even saw any of the candidates since I could not know what it looked like. Which oddly put a lot of pressure on me to react great when I finally saw it, which ran the risk of my reaction being overly rehearsed, one-size-fits-all.

Then opening strains of Mel's personally requested harp version of "Bitter Sweet Symphony" struck. (I think it was that moment it was used in Riverdale that Mel turned to me and said, "Can I come down the aisle to this?" And voila.)

The truth is, I was wowed. I would have been no matter what, of course. If she had come out in her Cat tights and pajama shirt I would have still been wowed, probably - I was seeing my bride to be at the moment before we were getting married. But her dress was elegant and beautiful and perfect for her and just plain perfect. Her makeup and hair was stunning. And she was her radiant self. I mouthed "Oh my god" as soon as we were face to face.

The ceremony was a huge success, barring (hitch) Priya's iPad going into sleep mode a few times. I dropped a line in my vows but only Priya and I would know it. I think they came off well. Mel's were beautiful, as she spoke them through tears of love. I wanted to hug her and hold her right there. Sherlie's reading was beautiful, I really felt the words as I looked into Mel's eyes. There was another minor hitch with the signing where Priya indicated the wrong line for Eric to sign, thus calling into question the whole deal. We'll see how it shakes out...

Signing track: "Love Needs Me," by Joe Chammas, which we picked with under 2 weeks to go when nothing else worked - "Thirteen" has that awkward line about telling your dad get off my back, other suggestions like "We're Goong To Be Friends" and "At My Most Beautiful" didn't feel right. I dared not pitch Eels' "Beginners Luck," which would be too hip for the room and a little too rough.

From there, things proceeded. Lori's reading, also wonderful. A few more words, kisses, Mr and Mrs.

Recessional song: a string version of "Don't Stop Believing," beloved by Mel because you can kind of hear it in The Wedding Singer.

From there... well, I have to leave it off for a second part to really dig in. There's nothing I love more than having stories to tell and this wedding has left me woth so many of them.

Keep on rockin'
Mr. Scotto