014: Fuck n' Run room only

Conflicted. Exhausted. Unfortunate guy.

I mean, I don't know, man, how to feel about today, and the future. I'm farking exhausted, man. I been walking around too much. The house is a mess, I've got work to do, things to clean up, dishes to put away, etc, etc... it's ridiculous.

I don't know how things are going to go this summer. I'm finally starting to see how badly I need a job... to get out of the house and avoid spending all my time with my brothers. It's not meant to be this way, no sir. Even with us all in our places and split up and organized, it's still not going to work. Not all day, every day, all summer. No sir. Not gonna happen, it can't. But I've wasted so much damn time. Two months I've been out of school, two months I've done nothing but spend the occasional weekend drinking, or playing Risk, or watching horrible movies. And the money I've spend, very little of which I earn back from my miniscule chore-doing jobs. And next weekend I got roped into helping some odl lady move (why did I agree to that?!) for what, maybe $15 an hour for maybe two hours. So that's $30 for hard labour I ain't cut out for. Fuck!

See, life's not but anxiety lately, and this is supposed to be my vacation? I should work, it'd be less stressful. It's the end of the week meltdown, when I look back at the last 7 days and count all the ways I wasted my time. There are reviews to write and some things to draw, but I have no motivation because it's all too fucking much. I'm panicking, can't you tell?

Breathe, Scott. Keep control of yourself. Don't freak out too badly.

Last night the Jays beat the Braves. I was gld for this, since the Braves had lost 9 in a row (with the Jays win it was 10,) and you don't want to be the team that ends that losing streak. They won tonight against the Devil Rays. Meanwhile, the Jays lost to the Mets, keeping them firmly in third. There's no danger of them losing that spot, for better or worse.

Meanwhile, over at the FIFA, the Swedes are going up against Germany. Oh boy, it'll be a sight when Sweden upsets those Huns. Just you wait.

We got a deflated crappy plastic soccer ball from Gino's. Mom stuck this flier under my nose advertising soccer-themed deals on pizzas over there, so we were coaxed into ordering one such deal (essentually our usual order, but actually smaller... and it includes pop, which we don't need, and the soccer ball, which we don't want.) There was such hemming and hawing over whether we should order such a deal and which we should, and they didn't even realize it was Gino's, which is our usual pizza place anyhow.

I actually did end up on the couch last night. Not so great for the back, but kinda nifty.

This ain't a way to be.

Sleep tight, all.

Keep on rockin'
-Scott W.