H: Hell is a woman

Last night was a palpably example of my seemingly-ongoing mental erosion and volitility. Also an example of how even a single drink should prohibit me from getting on the computer and going at it. Still, I felt I had something to say, and it's said.

Still frustrated at this sandy summer; that is to say, it slips through my fingers. And my point, basically, was that I'm sort of left to my own devices, my presence not really valued, apparently, by anyone. And this is a dangerous thought these days because, due to my ongoing dog-related stress, there is a lot of reason why I want to get out of the house. But there ain't a lot of reason for that.

I said "undervalued." You know, I try, right? Let's not use this blog, particularly my recent writings, as the best examples of what I'm like outside of this house, because all my hang-ups, I try to leave them here. But the trick with that is in order for it to happen, I have to leave. Hence, my angst.

As I've said, I have very little contact with people who I'd typically think of as being friends lately. The post-Sheridan disapora is understandable, even downright expected. But it seems like everyone I know is taking the first train outta this town, and I'm stuck. But I don't have anything to occupy my time or anyone to talk to, so I just sit and stew in it. That sucks, dude!

Because after a long, hard, confusing day, all I wanted was to sit around with a small group of friends, chill out and have a brew. But I'm starting to realize that I maybe just don't swing with enough force to hit that ball, so I'm left lonely in the dugout.

I don't remember the last time someone contacted me on MSN just to make conversation and see what was up. I think it was Haasim. A few weeks ago we enjoyed a lengthy phone coversation stemming from my inability to head out and see Knocked up. I still haven't seen it but really want to. Amanda and I used to talk regularly, before her job consumed her. I'm trying not to be resentful of that because after all, it's a good enough gig for her.

Every so often I get into this mood where I don't start any conversations on MSN at all just to see how long it takes. During those times, I don't talk on MSN a whole lot.

Depression ain't a good look for me, cats. Something's got to give. I don't want to spoil the party.

So this man is riding through the desert on a camel. He rides for three lonely days in the hot sun when he can't take it anymore. He needs to have sex. Since there are no women around and he's desperate, he begins to eye his camel. He gets off and starts to unzip his pants when the camel runs away. He catches it, but just as he's about to get down to business, a car pulls over, fuming black smoke. Inside are three gorgeous trim young women, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette, all with huge titties. They ask if he can help them fix their car. He knows a thing or two about engines, so he fixes their car and they offer to do anything for him in return. "Anything at all." Immediately, he responds, "Can you hold my camel down for me?"

If you can dig it, I actually have been having a nice day. Something aobut the heavily overcast weather, the clouds and the light rain and the sun just barely creeping through... and light breeze in humidity, the light and heavy all together now. All together now...

And though they did hurt me so bad in the fear and alarm... You did not desert me, my brothers in arms...

Keep on rockin'
-Scott