IX: Every day for all I care

I've never known how to spend a Sunday afternoon. I remember being in grade school and feeling depressed because there was no good TV shows on; for a while I had a really solid routine of going to the corner store for a pop and some candy then doing whatever homework was due the next day in front of the TV watching whatever second rate cartoons were on. ("Weird-Ohs?") In high school, most of whatever habits and rituals I had were taken care of on Saturday. Sometimes it was weird stuff on TV, or old movies. We used to rent a lot from Blockbuster.

I finally found my way through Sunday when I started working regularly. When I was in school I was a classic "evening and weekend" guy, so I would happily roll out of bed on a Sunday morning and work from 9-5:30. Okay not usually happily, but while I was there, it was good times... for a long time, during Karen's run, Sundays were handled by me, Chantelle and maybe Andrea; basically anybody but Karen. Those were good-ass days. I can remember the first Fall Back day after I started, when Karen called in angry to ask Alan why everybody was late, and he replied they weren't because of the time change. Today happens to be spring forward - I initially thought that anecdote took place on spring forward, but then realized it didn't make sense.

My last really big memory of working a Sunday was in the summer of 2011 when I rushed home from Toronto after Martina's birthday, and I was booked to start late but Chantelle asked me to come in early because everyone else was sick or something. So it was just me and her all day and we listened to mix CDs.

Lately my routine has involved getting up and going to the mall, getting some coffee and writing. It's the best I've felt about Sundays in a while and has proven strangely effective. I actually look forward to it all week. Except this week it didn't end up happening; after I went for coffee I remembered I was supposed to help Ross with something. So I hurried back but he had already done it and I felt bad. Like, I wanna be helpful - I was specifically asked by mom to help with this one thing and I wanted to. Goes back to my thoughts last night about wanting to be... good? helpful? likeable? dependable? Sure. Point is, as I said, I've gotten to a point in my life where helping others, where doing things for them when I can, makes me feel GOOD. And now that's two chances in 24 hours that didn't pan out. Harumph.

So now that this 23-hour day is a bust already, I think I'll put on the Game of Thrones special features or something and just let this waste of a day go on.

Been reading the archives lately. Lotta typos. Sloppy stuff, past-Scotto. Did your browser not have a spellcheck back then?

Keep on rockin
-Present Scotto

VIII: Heaven Helps

Having come through the other side of my moody teenage years, I've entered a period of my life when I just want people to get along and be happy, or at least okay.

I had a family gathering tonight. It was for my aunt K's 50th. Back at Christmas my aunt acquired a karaoke machine for the kids, and all they had was nursery rhymes, but one of the highlights of Christmas was all of us boogieing down to the Barenaked Ladies, B-52s, Beatles and Elvis, which all I fetched from my collection. So this was to be a permanent feature of big gatherings, we should acquire some real-ass karaoke music. I was asked nicely to pick some up in time for this event, saying it was going to be the theme. I did, but it was a misfire - I trusted that iTunes would have proper karaoke data files, not just instrumental tracks to sing along to. My bad. But it was all said and done, bought and paid for, no going back (the hazard of buying online.) At my own expense.

I'm not complaining. I wasn't asking for repayment. I did what I did freely, because I thought it would make my aunts, my family happy. My treat. I've gotten to the age where gift-giving is actually a satisfying act.

In the end it was more of a disorganized gathering than they were probably aiming for, and very little of this ended up happening, although it did go over big with the kids, whom I was supervising so as to step away from the family drama subtly unfolding in the living room.

I wish my gift had gone to better use, or at least had the opportunity to prove itself ridiculous, instead we all slunk away around 7, "Hey, great seeing you again, happy birthday, mwah" after an improbably difficult time corralling everyone for gifts and cake. I don't know how to describe it sensitively, it wasn't anybody's fault and my complaint isn't because I'm upset, just that hey, I wanted to do a nice thing. I did do a nice thing, it just didn't quite land. I dunno. I don't know what my problem is, but there was definitely something off about this event.

We also found out my cousin had been in an altercation last week, that left her a bit worse for wear. That certainly didn't help the festive atmosphere, but it's hard to blame anyone for that.

A quick rambling post, loaded with vague terminology. Good to know I'm back in top form. Things have been happening lately and maybe one day I'll unpack it all for you but it's not done yet. I don't think so anyway. I just needed a venue for this particular string of un-elaborated thoughts.

Keep on rockin
-Scotto