12th: In the Spirit

Interesting that I only just got around to posting that trailer post now, more than a week after we returned. The rest of the trip proceeded along those lines. We swam a lot, I was nostalgic a lot, the propane tank went out on Wednesday, we got bit by mosquitoes, we watched Ratatouille. We played cards and listened to the radio.

I think the propane thing kind of spoiled it for us because as much as we were already having difficulties, it was what it was, until then. But the tank went out right when I was making breakfast, which had already been delayed by my trip into town for syrup -- we were using our bananas to make banana pancakes out of only eggs and bananas -- and it just kind of set us off and made us think "Are we gonna make it to Friday?" We decided to play it by ear as we enjoyed a nice fire Wednesday night, but by Thursday morning we were pretty sure it was our last day there.

Still, we made the best of it, swimming again and kayaking and walking around the park. In my private moments I thought about things adults did to have fun when I was a kid, like bingo and softball. We packed quite a bit into our last day considering how much cleanup and packing we had to do before we left. Mom seemed dismayed that we weren't staying longer -- unsure if she had planned on meeting us there, or if she just kinda took it personally. But she did express surprise and delight that we had cleaned the place so well. We like to be good guests.

I wouldn't say it was because there was no wifi. Was that a challenge? Yeah, but you can buy into it. It is good to have your phone handy to blow off steam or play music or to watch Netflix in bed. I did get a little kooky with the stopping-by-aunts-trailer to borrow wifi in the morning, because I'm got my morning content rituals. Anyway. I've always said that under the best of circumstances 3-4 days is probably best for the trailer and I'm always advocating for less than a whole week when we go up there and Mel thinks I'm just being a poop. We raced home -- I drove us! And Mel didn't seem to hate it! -- and we ordered pizza and began a nice weekend. Mel had friends over both days, BoPo girls on Saturday and her former co-worker Gina on Sunday. I made myself scarce, got some writing done.

The week passed -- it was overly full, catching up on things and having way too many little fires to fight. That said, there were some times for doing my own thing and I even made headway on my Staff Picks project, for the first time in way too long. We played Softball on Tuesday. It was actually a good game, and we won. More importantly, I had fun, which means I got on base at least once and didn't screw up any major plays. And even more importantly, my body didn't give out on me. I'll admit, the excitement of the early season has mostly given way to anxiety of "What's going to happen?" before each game. It feels a lot like it used to when I was learning to drive and I'd know I had to have a practice session.

While we were away, they played two games, winning the first one. Since that was the first game they'd won since Week 1, it made me feel a little low since it almost seemed like Mel and I were holding them back. I actually know that's not true for several reasons: 1) We played our worst on that first game that we lost 2) We've come close to winning several times, where Mel and I were not really the difference makers. Admittedly, having better players in our slots may have helped but we're not anchors. Hell, even when I got back, when drawing up the lineup one teammate said they should move me up because I get on base a lot. It's nice to be recognized. No pressure though...

So when they lost without us, that kind of evened things out. And when we won this game that Mel and I were in, it felt good. I'll admit, when the time comes to field I am out in deep right hoping the ball comes nowhere near me. In the final inning, up by one, I kind of pushed one of my teammates, Chris, out onto the field (there were 12 of us, so two guys and one girl always sat.) I knew this guy would have more impact on the game than I would and I felt like this was our best shot at stopping them. The other team got some really good hits in and it started to look dodgy, but before they could score any runs to tie up the game, who caught the game-winning pop fly? Chris. I don't need glory on the softball field; making things like that happen is my glory. Let's be realistic. Not everyone can be the hero of the game.

Winning isn't everything. It's not even necessarily more fun to win than to lose, although losing can be frustrating. Doing your best as a group and having someone stop you can be frustrating. But doing your best and having fun are the main things and I've had fun in games we've lost, for sure. Just not on the field. I almost never have fun when I have to field. Or run the bases, really. Actually, can we just go to the batting cages?

On Thursday, I made the trek downtown to go to the dentist. Honestly, the sensible thing is to get a dentist near me but I like my dentist very much. She's non-judgmental and easy to work with and gosh darnit she spent so much time on my mouth last year, we're bonded. At one point I considered going in to the office and then dipping out for the appointment but I decided I didn't want to get up early. Once I got out of the appointment at 3, I figured I still had time to grab lunch and go to the office, my first time since like November. Part of the reason I was so driven to go to the office was that there were a few items I wanted to make sure I grabbed: a book that was supposed to be waiting for me on someone's desk, and my bamboo utensils. Luckily, the book really was waiting there for me, despite having teed it up last fall with the person to whom I had lent this book prior to the pandemic. (Stranger in the Woods, the story of the Last True Hermit, perfect pandemic reading.) The one thing that wasn't at my desk was actually... my desk. In the meantime, my computer has been updated and my workstation was not placed back where it originally was, so I actually don't know where my computer/workstation resides. I didn't really have time to ask anyone about that or see any point in doing so, so I just quickly ate my lunch (Burger Priest, yum!) and left.

Whenever I'm in the city, I do think about things I miss. For a few years I could feign being a city person but let's face it, I am a suburbanite loser. There's an energy that I do miss, and yet a hassle that I don't. But I do miss seeing tons of different people, as an inveterate people-watcher. You just don't see people in the 'burbs that much and if you do, in like the supermarket, it's too creepy to spend much time watching them. I don't know whether that will ever be my world again, even as a commute. It feels like COVID stole from me my last great summer of people-watching, which is admittedly low on the list of things that it has stolen from people, but I can at least lament a mild disappointment here on my blog.

This weekend was marked mostly by Saturday's trek out to Midtown Toronto for an in-person BoPo workout in the park and picnic. It was hot as hell but nice to participate in that, even if we have a tendency to take "picnic" more seriously than other people. Of course, seeing our cooler did raise eyebrows but I pointed out that with our drive, if we hadn't had a cooler we'd be drinking boiling hot iced tea.

Mel was pretty drained from the drive home and it ended up sending her to bed early. Today was going to have a bunch of tasks to it, but ended up being defined by a dead bunny that was left on our doorstep (I think by the neighbor's cat... I think.) And having to call a private animal removal service because ha ha, it's the weekend, the city won't answer. We kind of got hosed and even had to do some of the cleanup ourselves by bleaching the porch. I understand leaving that to us overall, but the guy was not even going to tell us what to do about that last streak of entrails, he was in his car ready to go when I came out to ask "Uh, what do I do about this now?" He has pretty good reviews but I'll have to put in my experience.

The other thing was Laura and Ryan stopping by since they had to bring Ryan's car to the mechanic at Canadian Tire. It wasn't too big a thing but it was a nice little visit.

Anyway. The day, the weekend, the life, it was what it was. This all took a very long time to write because hey, it's been knocking around my head for a while. And that's only scratching the surface of the shit I could be putting here. Aren't you glad I'm posting semi-regularly again?

Keep on rockin'

-Scotto

11th: Sudden Drop

The time has come for my annual post from the trailer. As always, our return to Spring Valley has me feeling reflective and nostalgic, although you would think it wouldn't be now. You'd think I'd have formed more associations with our modern visits and feel like "This is a place I regularly visit as an adult" but the pull of memory is strong. I just took a walk around the park - solo - to try to lean in to the feeling of being 13 again. Under most circumstances I don't think being 13 again would be a good thing for me, but hey, there are worse things than being younger and more energetic.

There is a difference with this particular visit that actually puts me more in mind of my childhood than normal. Namely, we're at my mom's trailer for the week. Mom had not avised us that she and Ross had not been able to get their wifi up and running, so it truly has been like a trip back to the 90s, minus the novelty of being able to walk up to any of the numerous people I knew here then and just hang around talking bullshit for the whole time. Instead, it's just the part about being anxious about being separated from civilization, which my computer-soaked brain of the late 90s always felt when I didn't have the other kids around.

I don't want to be too dramatic, but I have thought of the word "cursed" a few times since being here. Okay, so there's no wifi. It's a trailer resort, you're almost not even supposed to have access to the outside world. Data is spotty (for me, Mel seems to have more luck.) The weather has been dull and dreary so far today. Yesterday was blazingly hot but we got here late so it was starting to cool off. For years all I have wanted was that one sickeningly hot day that makes you need to jump in the pool, and it looks like we won't be getting it -- the forecast calls for rain all week, although Thursday is supposed to near 30 celsius so maybe we'll catch some summer heat and sun then. Even my tablet, which I have not really turned on much in the last few months since appropriating my work laptop (my dad's loaner) as my writing computer. I left that home, so I thought I would rely on the tablet, but it appears to be on the fritz, perhaps because it desperarely needs several months' worth of windows updates that, absent any wifi, we have no access to. I am writing this to you on Mel's laptop, which we brought on the premise that we'd be watching some Netflix but, you know, no wifi. I've floated the idea of going and sitting on Aunt Lori's porch and stealing her wifi but I don't think we'd be able to get onto their wifi on this laptop anyway. Oh, and I'm writing this in a .txt to post later because I've got to do *something.*

And I should note that, as Mel has napped, I've already been by there to do just that on my phone, but I felt guilty for lingering too long. It is currently Tuesday, August 10, at 3:44 PM by the way. The rain has started to let up. I'm on the porch, surrounded by houseflies.

With Mel napping, my options for entertainment are this, writing (which, yeah, maybe, but nothing that requires online sources) solitaire (thank god I brought a deck) or walking back around the park - again - and pretending it's 1999 and Marianne Atkins is hoping to get my attention. I did bring a book, of course, but I was hoping to be able to read some comics on my phone, and not only can I not access it online, I couldn't even log in at Lori's because of asn issue with the account server. A fine time to fail me. I can also avail myself of any of the "great assortment" of TV channels Mom and Ross have (they had it on CNN when we got here, just as they do at home -- I flipped around and found the new 90 Day series, "The Single Life." Not the most riveting spin on that franchise, but it's something.)

I'm not averse to sticking it out, but we've already spoken of cutting our vacation short. Mel didn't seem necessarily serious about the idea but she wasn't opposed to it either. If the weather was good it would be no problem without the wifi, and vice versa (we've definitely been here at times where it rained.) But you can only take so much nothing.

I'm going to hold it there and see if I can get Mel up for some fun before dinner, now that the sun is coming out.

Keep on rockin, whenever this ends up getting posted

Scotto

10th: Haven't seen a soul

Well how do you like this for a throwback. It's 11:50 PM on a Thursday and I'm at my in-laws'. Mel is asleep and we are otherwise alone. I'm awake in the family room, with only my phone as company.

Mama and Papa H happen to be on vacation this week, and circumstances caused us to avail ourselves of their place. See, our fridge thermostat burned out at some point in the last week. I thought maybe it was just being stubborn but it finally dawned on me that ice wasn't freezing and meat was spoiling and well, that was that.

We salvaged everything we could, throwing it into bags and coolers and driving over here in the middle of the night last night. I was so stressed by it that I came back around to zen and thought it was actually kind of cool to have to do.

We didn't stay -- Mel had suggested it, I didn't necessarily bite, we didn't really pack and I had work in the morning so instead we drove back home. Having just gone through the whole rigmarole of replacing our washer and dryer, I was not looking forward to appliance shopping again already, not to mention waiting for a new fridge, especially given we are supposed to be on Vacafion next week.

Well it turns out fridge repair is a lot more socially acceptable than washing machone repair. We got a same-day repairman, which was great and all, but he didn't have the thermostat handy. Guess it's been a busy week. He said he had a shipment waiting for him at home tonight, so he'd come back tomorrow. So naturally for the evening we  came to where all our food is.

This after softball at Neyagawa Park. Oh yeah did I mention? We joined a softball team for the summer. That started when Mel saw someone on a Burlington group asking for women to join hus coed team. Being that she played baseball in high school and is always keen to get back to it, Mel inquired, but enough places were taken. Still, the bug was there, and I thought it would be a fun activity for the summer, so I told her yeah, we should sign up.

It's been good. Fun to get out of the house and interact with people, gradually forming friendships. A lot of them had ties from before the team, but we were the random assortment, the "Indies." 

We won our first game, but have lost every one since. I don't necessarily care about losing, I care about my contribution to tbe team. Unfortunately, I tend to make one or two botches every game that leave me a little redfaced, it can be hard to see how I'm adding much. 

I actually hit really well, in the sense that I keep getting on base. After getting out in all my three at bats in game 1, I've been on base more often than not and probably have one of the best averages on the team, if that counts for something. I even got home once. I don't know what the ball does after I hit it, but it seems to create a lot of confusion in the other teams (as opposed to these other guys who keep hitting pop flies.)

Anyway, I've been doing okay at that. Mel's doing her best and having fun. She's definitely a better fielder than I am. Honestly I get so drained from having to field. It doesn't help that after game 2 I got a serious-ish groin pull that never fully went away. So to me, I can hit and run like hell to the bases and use up all my juice that way, leaving me virtually immobile in right field. (Tonight's team were rude enough to send a few my way late in the game, well after my legs were gone.) So after 34 years of not being involved in a phyaical activity more strenuous than bowling, I am not capable of walking off the couch and into softball superstardom. My body rejects the idea of Scotto the Athlete.

I also don't have a mind for the game. Baseball involves so much awareness and immediacy and split-second in-the-moment decision making that I just don't have the psyche for. Run, don't run? Throw here or there? Fuck man, I do not know. When I'm doing physical shit I just like to zone out, and competitive sports are the opposite of that.

The team is pretty cool about it, I mean, nobody wants to harp on their teammates' mistakes. And everyone is too busy worrying about themselves. Everyone misses catches, throws badly, whiffs a ball or two. Even the most competitive player on the team, Danielle, who plays 2nd base, has had bad nights. You can't blame anyone. It's not like we have any kind of elite training regimen. We're just a dozen or so people who take the field and try to do our best with it.

The other teams moatly are too, it see.s. We've been competitive, never being blown out -- I just wish we didn't fall short so consistently. Some of these guys are really good and play hard and deserve a W. Mel and I are on vacation to the trailer next week and despite a few insistences of of "Aw, you can make it nack for the games!" (Tues and Thurs evening) we don't intend to. Plenty of other players have missed games. I doubt Mel's and my contribution will be missed on the field and hey, I wouldn't be surprised if they win one while we're away!

For me, it will be good to heal my nagging injury and maybe come back refreshed. I keep feeling like I'm on the verge and then the moment I hit the field, my legs just go.

So that's kind of what's been up, along with the usual stuff -- work, writing (some minor successes there that really got me energized in my own weird way) and life with the wife. And post-game ice cream, always good.

A few more stray things -- this past weekend was the long weekend. Mel and I got our second dose of vaccine. I felt a bit achy in my body the next day but I pushed through it (only sligbtly distinguishable from "getting old" aches.) We had acrually gone on a nice long walk in the summer sun afterward through the Sixteen Mile Creek trails. The next day, as I healed, we finally put the piece of art on our wall that goes over the new couch. (The old one is still awkwardly located to the side.) Monday was the  elebrafion of Cam's birthday, the first in-person family gathering with that side since Feb 2020. It was a nice little evening but I must say the best part was Mel and I lingering a while later to have one on one time with the aunts. I value that so much. 

Anyway. I'm starting to get drowsy (at last) and I'm getting tired of tapping away on this thing, and I'm meant to have an early morning tomorrow so I'll close it down.

Keep on rockin'

Scotto