012: Green as the grass

It's November 2020.

I am drained. I am on a GO train bound from Oakville to Toronto typing - badly as always - on my phone. I agreed to attempt NaNoWriMo this year to finally get the novel I feel like I have already written out into the world so under normal circumstances I would feel bad using writing time for this but it has been a while. I am also in something of a rough mood - see being drained, above - and it's a shame because I only ever seem to seek refuge on SWP when I am not in great shape.

We bought a house. Unbelievable. We are moving, at the end of the month. That comes with a lot of minor tasks, the kind that weigh on me. They shouldn't be too hard to accomplish but each one takes its toll.

Moments like these I get way too drunk on Nostalgia. We have been back in Oakville a lot lately and I start looking around like this is the end of it. Oh no, you know, the end of those family breakfasts when we're visiting, end of game nights. Weirdly feeling sad about the end of being dropped off at the GO station at the end of the weekend. What are we losing? So much chaotic running around. Living on the city worked so well for us except when it was time to engage with our families.

We will truly be on our own. Scary and exciting.

I'll miss the city lights. The TD Tower sign, my beautiful big green nightlight, burnt out the summer but otherwise I will miss overlooking those glorious rows of architecture and feeling plugged in. The view. We had that view for 3 years and I never stopped appreciating it. One night not long ago Mel asked ne to leave the blinds open because she was still watching the city and I wanted to cry it was so beautiful.

But this, you know, this is the path we have always been on. Things like this have to fall away to make room for new things. A house in the suburbs. Our own place.

I wanted to capture that feeling before we go. I wanted to remember sitting with her on our balcony on summer nights while she knitted. My fondeat memory of 2020 may end up being going down to Kibo and picking up our sushi - we became weekly customers - and bringing it back up to watch Rocky movies. Or walking around Sugar Beach listening to our audiobooks.

Seeking was a long process. We saw a lot of things that, as purely pragmatic domiciles, would have sufficed.  But they lacked charm, or character, or certain amenities or layout preferences, or were in the wrong spot.

We had put in a few offers and been beaten but it was all leading up to finding *our* house. By early October, we were seasoned and more than ready to see an opportunity, when we walked into the house on Cavendish Drive. The Mirror House.

It was flawed, there was obviously a lot that needed to be done to bring it into the present. But while buyers rushed to put in offers on the other house we saw that day - more up to date albeit frankly with its own quirks - we knew the opportunity we were looking at. We were the only offer and managed to get ahead of the curve.

What followed was a pretty tight month of paperwork gathering and fine detail work, but on Thursday October 29, we walked into our lawyer's office and signed a nice big stack of paperwork. On Monday Nov 2, we took the keys. We own a damn house.

Writing it up does help my mood, you know. And every moment I will miss will be balanced by a new one yet to be made.

There is so much else, you know. The election is tonight. I just remember being at Mel's on this night four years ago and the ultimate despair that followed. So much has changed, I hope for better things.

I had a dream. I was called on to wrestle Cody Rhodes. I tried to be the guy I imagined I was when I was a kid but we were out of synch and he called me out for it afterward. That was where this particular post gets its title.

Speaking of nostalgia, I found out yesterday that Pom is leaving Indigo (making 3/3 from the Pom/SG/Alina cohort that followed me and Catherine, although Scott G will be back for a limited time to help Kids.) Jess asked whether I would want to take his portfolio. With some hesitation, I said no. It pained me too, because I loved Biography and there is a ton of other good stuff in that portfolio. Wouldn't mind working exclusively with Brandon either. But the last thing I need this Holiday is the biggest book in the history of history - Barack Obama's - on my plate. I don't want to go backwards that far. It can't be 2018 again and that's that. Plus I'd be working with Phil and as much as I respect him it's a much better match with Jess so I will happily truck along in my little corner.

Besides, she said they already had someone in mind. If Phil wanted me, asking me would've been temptingly flattering but I have no interest in auditioning for the part. Maybe when this person quits in a year or two and I'm bored of History though.

Well, tonight's sushi should be just about ready. I feel cheerier than when I started this post, but I'm also in my home.

Keep on rockin

Scotto