7: Peanut

Sitrep: It is 3:01 AM and I'm down in the living room. I can't sleep. I'm not even really tired. It hasn't happened a lot lately, reminds me of times years ago, mostly going back to our time in the apartment but also my wfh prime years. There are a lot of contributing factors to this, potentially. We got our new mattress, which is a little stiff and I'm still not accustomed to it. There was snoring, both from Mel and Hank, but I am well accustomed to that, and even like it. There's somw hubger, so I'm snacking on a babybel and somw goldfish. My brain has been overactive and a bit of anxiety that has yet to fully subside. We had what you could call a non-standard night.

It was to be the last dat of my extended staycation. I had done some running around  albeit probably not all of the tasks I had hoped for. And I had made some time for me-things. As Mel was winding down her day, I took Hank out as I usually do. It was the usual walk but as we turned the corner all the street lights flickered out. "Huh, how about that." I voice messaged her to acknowledge that and hope she wasn't on the toilet or anything. Eventually the lights came back on and it felt like all was well.

I got home. Dinner was quick because I had put a roast in the slow cooker that morning, so I just had to make the sides: roast potatoes, brussel sprouts and frozen yorkies. But just as I was flipping the potatoes out of the oven for the yorkshires, the power went out again, and it soon became clear it was not coming back soon.

Sigh. It happens. We lit some candles (including some electric tealights we had picked up for just such occasion) and kept our flashlights handy. We ate in darkness and managed to watch some of the crummy reality show we've been enjoying (the final season of Are You The One to date from a year or two back) until the router gave out. Then we read -- sadly we had not gotten Mel's reading light charged, and speaking of charge, Mel's phone was practically drained as she had been reading a graphic novel on it as I cooked. But her ereader was good to go and I held some lights up to my book. Then after a while we sat and talked (what a revelation) until it felt right to get into bed around 11. At that time the city website was saying it would take from 3 to 5 AM to get the power back so I put a few meat and dairy items into coolers full of snow to give them a fighting chance in case the power didn't come back on, and we went to bed hoping for the best.

I tossed and turned, trying to settle in, but couldn't. Eventually, at 2, the power came on, so I went down to turn off the lights and put that stuff back in the fridge and freezer, but I couldn't rest. I read some old posts and tried to clear my mind, but alas, here I am.

Well, now I've unloaded. I think ai just have too much pent-up undiffused anxiety about navigating the blackout house and wondering what to do tomorrow (I told Maria I'd work from home -- provided I have internet)  and leftover energy not spent staring at a screen until I pass out. Ive had my snack, I'm watxhing some wrestling, Ill give it another chance soon. Shit, it's quarter to four.

Wellp.

What are ya gonna do? Just keep on rockin'

-Scotto

6: I Thought I Had You

This is not quite the end of my vacation. I ended up booking this Monday off as well because I was crunching the numbers and I just had too damn many days left. So I've got that to look forward to, along with a ton of other days off in March.

It was more or less the week that I wanted it to be. I "got a lot done," for personal stuff and around the house although there's always plenty more of both. I finally took the tree down -- that was a two-day project. I folded a lot of laundry, did a few days of running around, wrote a lot, sat with Hank, drank coffee, read some -- mostly comics, not so much other stuff.

We ordered a new mattress which was delivered Thursday. It's been an adjustment already, much firmer than what we had, which was very well broken in. Mel had had it for a few years before I came into the picture and it's been "our" bed since at least 2017 when we moved in together. Mel estimates it's been about 15 years.

I'm not sold -- change is hard and scary but that doesn't mean it's not worthwhile. I had actually advocated for the firm mattress not because I like a firm mattress but because you can get a topper to plush up your mattress but if your mattress is too plush you can't firm it more. I don't think so anyway. I feel like not a lot of investigation has been done into firming technology for mattresses. Anyway, I sleep fine on it so far, it's just different.

Today we did some running around, picking breakfast up at Tim Hortons and Second Cup and then to the mall, so that we could vote early because Mel is seeing "the girls" Thursday night aka election night. It was nice, a bit of a wait, and then Mel came home and conked out and I've just sort of been puttering around the house. I finally cleaned the kitchen, or at least parts of it. I could do more, I could put some laundry on. Hell, there's always something, but when else do I get leisure time?

Now she's up but actually has to work -- that had been something on her mind previously, that she had left a lot of work un-done on Friday and had to return to it, plus her timesheet and some studying for this test she has to do, but the napping took up a lot of her allotted time, and now I'm writing this instead of, I dunno, walking Hank or cleaning more or starting dinner.

I just wanted to check in, I guess. We were thinking about going to see the babies today but they were busy (Unc and Sherlie, not the babies... although they were all together I'm sure.) But we have a plan for tomorrow. Which I guess limits the amount of things we can do, but at least it's not more to do today and also I still have Monday to fuck around.

Guess I'll find out.

Keep on rockin'

-Scotto

5: The price of gold

It's snowing again. Real original.

I'm just about done with what feels like the longest and most punishing winter of my adult life, even if it's not done with me. The weather is partly to blame. It keeps snowing and snowing and snowing, and it's been, let's be honest, quite frigid. And this is to a degree that hasn't really been seen around these parts in years. But of course this is compounded by a myriad of factors. The commute would be the most noticeable one, getting up and going to the city three times per week (and coming back!) I mused in my last post about how I'm a sucker for pain and on some weird psychological level I'm into that shit, but I'm into it knowing it sucks and I deserve better. I wonder if that's what motivates Americans to vote Republican.

I'm "into it" but I won't miss it when it's gone, I just need to get back to working on that. So there's the commute, which would not have been a factor in any recent years -- or hell, any year since I was in University. Getting to and from work when I worked at the mall or when I worked downtown was not always fun but it didn't seem like a daily catastrophe. Then there's pet ownership -- I love Hank, and I love having him and I am glad we do, but it comes with all the expected responsibilities. Morning walks, evening walks, wiping paws. I wake up pre-tired and sore (probably because I've slept with my legs in some weird position because of where he is on the bed) and yeah, half the time I don't even walk him these days because it's too cold at 7 AM ... but I still have to feed him. Then there's the nature of the work itself, which has been as grueling as it's ever been with the highest profile title in the business, although my time in the spotlight is coming to an end. I made it look easy and now the pressure is off, replaced by another book on Don's portfolio that he's having trouble with. I got a lot of praise though, from higher-ups like Rania and Amy. I'm grateful, but you know, that and a cup of coffee will get me a cup of coffee. Or something.

I'm obviously very good at my job. My frustration brain won't always let me feel it, but I have been assured. Maria even noted on our call (we both worked from home on Thursday because of the weather) that I was "so smart" when I said something about the budget. It's too bad I've basically made up my mind that there's no next job for me at Indigo. This is not sustainable for me -- I've almost made it through a year and I'm wheezing my way to the finish line, and that's with getting concessions about when I get to show up and go home (other people get similar concessions but a lot of them offset it by showing up earlier. Me, I roll in late, roll out early, and don't worry about what I don't have time for... which bit me in the ass when several open tasks from my hectic release week in January came back to haunt me.)

Oh well oh well oh well.

The weather has given us a convenient opportunity to bunker down and think about things that we want to do. Last weekend Mel and I finally hauled all or giveaway crap to Value Village, and ended up spending about a hundred bucks there, mostly on books and some home goods and a fleece sweater she really liked. We also went to Barry's to get her rings re-sized but there was a whole flap about whether we had our protection plan that we paid for because apparently we didn't receive our documentation five years ago, nor have we been in every single year to claim it. None of this is our fault per se, as we didn't know about any of it. Mel is quite annoyed but I put it on the bright side, for $100 we got one re-sizing a few years back and maybe they'll honor this one. But it's a sucky thing overall because we seemingly won't be entitled to the thing we thought we were paying for. Ugh. Now I'm annoyed, and I don't want to think about it anymore. Mel's current anxiety is whether she got the rings re-sized properly (she went with 8 1/4 rather than 8, which seemed snug on the sizer.) This actually took place over two weeks, because after the first time we went, we had to wait a week for her finger swelling to go down, and also find our receipt, which we did after rooting through the basement.

Roll call though: The tree's still up, the kitchen's a mess, there's a ton of laundry, the floor needs sweeping, the Christmas decos are still on the front lawn, the shelf is bare, the basement is a disaster, the bathroom needs a reno, and probably some other stuff, in addition to continually getting groceries, making dinner, oh and I bought a shelf I want to put together. I have this week off but it's not like I want to spend 100% of my time doing tasks. I would like to maybe spend 2 or 3 afternoons on that. Weirdly, we don't have anything going on for Family day tomorrow, so, it's just us hanging out.

Mel said our Valentine's Day was perfect at least -- after putting in a full day, I picked up Build Your Own Nachos from the Black Bull, and flowers I had pre-ordered. We did a workout before dinner. She had wanted chocolate-covered strawberries but I didn't know where to find any on short notice so I bought strawberries and chocolate I thought I could melt, which resulted in a mess and not-good strawberries. We just ate the strawberries. I had bought a cheesecake as a backup, which was smort. I gave her a homemade card fashioned out of an old Tumblr post where I describe my ideal woman and it sounds suspiciously, fortuitously, like my current relationship. It was a hit. 

We had so many nacho fixins left over that I said "Let's just have nachos again for dinner tonight" and that was gladly accepted.

I haven't done as much writing as I would like to have, but hopefully that's what this week is for. It already feels full.

I've got to update my previous post with a few missed details. Don't ask why I don't just put them here.

Keep on rockin'

Scotto