15th: Little by Little

Today's the one-year anniversary of moving into this house. Much has changed, much has been changed. But there was one thing that never did until now, and the reason for that was... well, the usual kind of inertia that keeps you from doing a thing that you really ought to.

We never changed the curtains.

Since the beginning, there has been these stale ass green curtains on the main floor, and these tired blue panels in our master bedroom. The green ones didn't trouble me, I never thought about them, but the upstairs ones were a problem, certifiably. See, they weren't really curtains. They didn't really... uh... curt. Not properly anyway. That is to say, they were purely decorative and weren't meant to block the window. Only we wanted the window blocked. So we would pull them over, snagging one side on the little hook in the wall for a venetian blind cord that doesn't exist and clipping them in the middle with a chip clip.

For a year! A whole damn year we did this, and we groused about it the whole time. But who has time to go out curtain shopping? Aren't there more important things to do?

Well, Mel's parents went and got some curtains recently, which put it in our mind. Last weekend we made a trip to Ikea. Frustrating, disastrous. Out of all the window coverings we were hoping for, we got the downstairs ones and a shade for the spare bedroom, never found anything good for the master and no shade big enough for Mel's office. On top of all that, it was a hectic, crowded place that left us both exhausted. We treated ourselves to pizza for our efforts.

The next day, Mel didn't have much work and was raring to go so I skiffed after my morning meeting to go with her to JYSK. We had better luck there although a lot of back and forth between us about what kind of curtains we really wanted. I think in the end we were both happy.  The JYSK trip was a lot more successful than the Ikea one, especially when we learned that the curtains we got from Ikea were actually too big for us to use anyway.

The week proceeded. Work was stressful, as the days ticked toward Black Friday, there were more and more concerns, including a pallet of one thousand Kobos that just flat-out went missing and a book that we simply did not have stock to support but acertainsomeoneunpstairs was hell-bent on making a focal point of their strategy. Well, whatever, I'm zen. Plus there was a whole thing about my development, which.... ehhhh, let's not discuss.

I've got a lot on my mind lately, some of which is how I've got so much on my mind. Trying to live so many different existences is tough. I've withdrawn a bit, although I don't think anyone's noticed. I have been a bit of a raw nerve to Mel lately. You know, when you care about someone it becomes very possible for them to push your buttons. It's not a bad thing, I just need to not let it be bad.

We never found that oat nog last week, had to settle for cocoanut nog. Mama H really appreciated my DJ work though.

Today we spent with Papa H, hanging out outdoor Christmas lights and hanging the curtain rods. When we learned that the downstairs curtains were not the right sized, we did the rods anyway so that they would be ready when our new curtains arrive (soon, from Wayfair.) Getting the upstairs curtains done was a moment of triumph for me, although Mel was already asleep, tuckered out from a long day of cleaning and watching the men of her life doing work. We did treat ourselves to some Chinese.

As we said, little by little this becomes our place, losing all the vestiges of the people who were here before as we rejuvenate and personalize it. Plus all the new furniture and decorations we've acquired... and yet still so much to do, as we eye the bathrooms, the backyard, the basement, the kitchen...

Little by little.

Today, with all the work, I didn't do any writing until now. Even with Mel ready for bed at 7 (!!) I used the time only to do the curtains, watch AEW Dynamite and finish an episode of Doctor Who -- the last Peter Capaldi/Steven Moffatt one, which I never saw. Good stuff. (A few weeks back when Mel had been out I indulged in a bit of the more recent stuff but honestly it was a letdown.) I don't feel bad about not writing. December will be what it will be, and while with the Patreon I don't see myself being far ahead on X-Cerpts again anytime soon, I've given myself the month off aside from one post to finish out the year. Other things... they move along, I do wish I could focus more on them but they'll have to be a bit more impromptu for the time being. No, that's not the right word... playing it by ear, I guess is more accurate to say. As with everything in life, I'll find time when I find time. I did just get some payout today, so that's pretty, shall we say, inspiring. Of course, it also brings to mind how much effort and time it took to make that money. It's a tradeoff. (And hey, since I did that writing for love, and would have made $0 during all that time otherwise for writing, it's really all profit, so I shouldn't worry too much about the exact payout and go back to celebrating that there was one.)

Well, that's all there is for tonight. I've got a third of a beer left so maybe I can parlay the rest of my night into some more writing. That'd be nice.

Keep on rockin'

-Scotto

14th: The Event

(Or In The Event of an Event)

Let's take a few minutes and talk.

The wife's out for the night... way out. She and some of the gals from her old work were meeting downtown for dinner. Originally it seemed like a simple matter, but then we found out the trains were not running this weekend, and then it became a question of how to get there. She's not such a fan of buses, you know, and driving downtown can be a nightmare. She was going to drive out to meet her friend Hannah, who was staying by Square One and go the rest of the way with her. Then Hannah was going to come back here so she could catch her flight the next day. And then since they were both coming back here at the end of the night I was going to ride along to Mississauga and bring the cat back, which I was not psyched about, but I'm a good dude like that. Then Hannah decided she was going to get another hotel by the airport, which would have scrapped the coming back here plan -- I assume -- and created a larger detour for Mel heading into the city. It was becoming ever more twisted, and I told her not to feel bad if it came to bailing, but she didn't want to and in the end, cut the knot and decided to drive herself. I even got her a little phone stand for the car at the dollar store.

So that leaves me on my own for the night. It's been a good one. You know sometimes I have these nights on my own -- I never know when more than a week in advance, and then I spend all week looking forward to them (not because I don't want to be around my wife but because it's something different) and if something threatens that I get a little sad but anyway here I am alone, and glad, but glad I won't be alone for too long.

I remember when my life was all like this. I had nothing but time and privacy. And what did I do with it? The kinds of things you do when you have nothing but time. You watch whatever's on TV and you play video games and sometimes maybe you read (but really, you know, I didn't read a lot unless it was something I really wanted, same as now,) and listen to music and write without ever getting much written. TV, Movies, Music, Video games, rinse, repeat, for so many years. Now I have a night, and I have to really be selective what I do with it because there won't be another one like it on the horizon.

Sometimes there's a lot of pressure on me that way. Tonight not so much. Right after Mel left I settled in for some writing and I was quite pleased with what I did, only halting my momentum when I realized I had to give a character a job and wasn't sure what to have them do. I think I have the answer but either way it's something I can come back to.

My next task was to install this air filter. See, it occurred to us a few weeks ago that we have this device hooked up to our furnace that has a HEPA filter, as opposed to a regular filter in the furnace. Only the filter hadn't been replaced in God knows how long and anyway it had never been used since we moved in. So we've been breathing in dust and allergens and shit all year and finally we (I) looked up what kind of replacement filter I needed to order, shelled out for it, and there you go. Now I'm breathing purified air. I think. Well, it's making a noise so something's happening. Honestly, the instructions on how to install the thing were not so helpful, but we won't tell Mel that. Sooner or later the furnace itself is gonna kick out and we'll get something more normal. Of course it will happen in the dead of winter, I'm sure of it. There's no good time for a furnace to fail, since if you're using it you need it, and if not, you're not thinking about it and it probably won't be noticeable if it fails.

Well anyway. I was opening the box for this filter cartridge and ran the box cutter right into my hand. Goddamn. I've opened, I can't tell you how many boxes in my life and never cut myself hardly so much as a nick. This was a nick too, but a bad one. I'm sure it's not that bad and if I lift the band-aid it will be fine, but you know, now it's all glued on. 

For dinner I had some Popeyes that was left over from lunch -- I had ordered a 4-piece meal for Mel by mistake, which ended up being a blessing of sorts, except the reheated chicken was pretty meh. Still, it beat trying to come up with something else to have for dinner. Then I put some laundry on and sat down to watch Inside Llewyn Davis. I've only watched that movie a couple of times but it's always stuck with me. The last time I saw it I was watching it with Mel some years ago -- she indulged me for half the movie then politely asked we do something else. Which kind of made me realized I was leaving the phase of my life where great pieces of art and culture were going to have much importance to me.

Anyway. Great, bittersweet film, a good way to spend the night on my own. (Would you believe I nearly considered No Country For Old Men? That's not a movie I'll be re-watching on a night where I'm by myself.)

Now I'm thinking of how Oral used to tell me about how he'd go home after work, and the kids and his wife would be in bed and he would stay up and watch movies in halves. I feel like I've going to be getting to that part of my life pretty soon. 

Now who knows how much longer she'll be out -- so I thought I'd pop in and do this post and then maybe some X-Cerpts. If not there's tomorrow morning. This is all gravy.

October proceeded apace. We had a couple more Thanksgivings, one at Unc's and one at Mom's, and had coffee with our friend Cristina, which was actually a really nice day if a chilly one for outdoors-starbucking, then an early birthday for Eric at Dad's on the Wednesday prior to it. That Saturday the 30th was Chrispy's wedding. There was a church service -- a whole mass -- and then Mel and I stopped off for subs, spent some time in the hotel room, then headed out, although we realized later that we had forgotten to bring her lactaid and you never know when you're going to need it, so I dashed out for it and we were like a half hour late for cocktails. Was that so bad? I don't know, we were fashionable late. Didn't get much in the way of hors d'oeuvres, but hey, we'd had subs.

We knew we would be seated with the high school friends, which had me tugging my collar because over the years there's been a certain amount of drifting, and even some tension, between Mel and the group. But you know, it was actually a really nice night, everyone had their best self on, Mel and Brooke seemed to have some good times, Mel and Meagan chatted a bit, even Brian and Roz seemed very sociable, with Brian grabbing the guys to get drinks every once in a few minutes. Danny was his usual chipper self and Jakub... well, Jakub doesn't say much, but his energy offsets Brooke's.

It was a nice wedding, very seasonal -- I'd like to think it took certain cues from ours in that sense. It was the first major function we'd been to since COVID, felt like something of a milestone. I noted to Mel later that as of Chrispy, her entire squad was now married. Privately, I also noted that that may be the last time we ever see some of those folks, at least for a long while. Strange and sad, but that's how life goes.

Anyway, it was a delightful wedding. Heavy on the sappy speeches. Once the dancing started, basically all mask rules went out the window, but you had to prove you were double-vaxxed to get in anyway so... shrug. I let G&T's fuel my dance fire, showing my moves. If I'm being honest, the dancefloor was very hit and miss. If I may hold my wedding up as the paragon, that party pretty much didn't stop once it got started. Here it mostly depended on how the bridesmaids (Krista's sisters) were feeling, as well as two very energetic girlfriends, Linda and Kate. It ebbed and flowed, but overall was a good time. We ended up staying until the bitter end. (Man, I have to appreciate how we were able to wait until the next day to clean up our wedding.) We got some amusing face time with Krista's twin sister Sarah, who was plowed, and an invite to the after-party, which we declined on account of being sad olds. My dogs were barking and I was ready to turn in.

The next day we got breakfast at Cora's, did a full debrief, and drove home. It was Halloween. On the spur of the moment I elected to run out to Spirit Halloween and see what we could get for costumes, coming back with a Plague Doctor Masquerade mask for myself and a Candy Corn headband for Mel. We made it work. We didn't carve jack-o-lanterns (perhaps the first year we've been together that we didn't, even when we lived in an apartment with no kids, signifying how busy life is and how last minute things seem to be these days) but we did have our light-up inflatable alien so that kids would know to come to our place. There was about 19 overall. We watched Lakeview Terrace. I do not know why.

Days went on. Our team was let off the hook for coming into the office when it became apparent that other teams were not being given similar directives. Mel's parents came over for Chinese on a Wednesday and to take the car for an appointment. We finished watching Gilmore Girls -- which, Mel always plays like she hate-watches, and maybe so, but it does give me a pleasantly neutral vibe. It's a comfort show, you know? We spent the weekend doing very little, having a pajama day on Saturday and going to the mall to buy pants on Sunday.

Reason being, Mel was going in to her office on Tuesday, so we both went to the city that day. It was actually a nice excursion. I'm less depressed about going in every once in a while because it doesn't feel so hopeless and confining. So I go in when I go in. Then I can go back to my freewheeling life of working from home. I'm going in this coming Wednesday for a team meet n greet with one of the new higher up. Allegedly there will be ice breakers.

Yet again on Wednesday, we went out to Oakville to see my mom and Eric for yet another Birthday, since Mom was feeling unwell around the time of his actual b-day. It was nice but it meant cancelling another gym appointment as we tend to do a lot these days.

And all of that brings us here... now.

It all seemed so important while it was happening, but it was just a bunch of stuff, and maybe I'm a little tired so I don't know how to put it all together. I was hoping to get X-Cerpts going after all that but I'm a bit drained. You know since the time change I'm getting up earlier. And falling asleep earlier. Maybe I'll just flop out on the couch and watch another movie. I was hoping to clean the dishes but this situation with my hand makes me leery of dunking it into grimy water just yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Tomorrow we're going over to Mel's Parents to help put up the Christmas tree in the annual tradition. Should be a nice night. We have not, however, located a suitable egg nog replacement for Mel, though (She's hoping for oat nog.) I've just searched where they have it though... the future is a wonderful place.

That'll be it, then.

Keep on rockin'

-Scotto